My phone doesn't call random people though, it's usually the girlfriend who at first thought it was funny, but quickly tired of it.
SCENE 1: SITTING IN THE CAR
GF: My phone's ringing, who would be calling me this early?
Me: Probably some douchebag telemarketer.
GF: No...it's you, your butt is calling me...AGAIN!!!
A couple of weeks ago, my GF devised a brilliant idea to keep that from happening again. "Watch this!" She said as she took my phone from my back pocket and put it in front pocket. Of course, I can't walk around with a phone in my front pocket because it makes it look like I have a constant erection and, I mean, who wants that, right?
This morning it happened again (the phone call, not the constant erection) and I receive a text message from the GF at 8 am.
GF: Your Butt called me again this morning.
Me: It was freezing...maybe it was calling for help?
Yeah, it was bitterly cold today. So cold that I didn't make it from the metro to my office without stopping into a Staples store (and a bagel store) just to warm up. That's why history or no, I am not attending the inauguration on Tuesday, but will watch it from the warm toasty seat I have in my bedroom. And by seat, I mean bed. I will also not be attending the free concert on the mall. I know it's not everyday that you get to see U2 and Beyonce playing a free concert, but when you turn to the news and they are giving concert goers tips on how to avoid hypothermia, that's when I know it's not for me.