Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Actual Recent Conversations with the Girlfriend

[after I drove over a huge pothole and almost killed my car]

Her: Yeah...by the way, watch out for that pothole....it's

Me: You could've mentioned that before I ran over it. You could
break an axle on that thing.

Her: Or you could just drive around it?

[discussion about proper names of body parts]

Her: Stop saying "Chocolate Starfish" and "Turd cutter." Those
are stupid names for someone's butt.

Me: What am I supposed to call it then?

Her: The Chocolate Factory.

[in the car and we spot a sign for Leesburg]

Her: What the hell is a Leesburg?

Me: It's a town with a bunch of antique shops. Why? Do you want to buy an antique?

Her: No....you're my antique.

[talking about guys night out]

Her: I know exactly what you guys do when you hang out at a

Me: Oh really, what's that?

Her: You drink a few Brewskis with your Bros, eat some buffalo wings, watch the game, and high five each other when you talk about chicks.

Me: That's completely ridiculous...no one calls it a brewski.

[pointing out a new chainstore in my neighbrohood]

Me: Hey look! They just opened up a [national chain store] in my neighborhood.

Her: Yeah, we have one of those in Bethesda, except without the muggers and junkies in front.


Jamie said...

Is your girlfriend aware of the existence of your blog?

Just curious.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

yes, she knows about it.

Unknown said...

Does she still love you, even though you say turd cutter?

Anonymous said...

She sounds like a keeper.

Jean Martha said...

you...have met your match. Good luck! LOL