Friday, January 23, 2009

inauguration over...go home, tourists

I never doubted that we would one day have a black president, but I always assumed the first black president would be a republican. See, I figured that since the current crop of republicans will do anything to win *cough* sarah palin *cough**cough*, I just figured that they would pick someone who was black but who stood for all the things that black folks find repugnant, like this guy, and then they would get a lot of the black vote and white religious nuts would have to decide if they preferred a president who is black or one who supports abortion and gay marriage, an their homophobia and religious extremism would overpower their racism. If you think that's far fetched, think about all the Hillary Clinton voters who voted for Sarah Palin even though, ideologically, she's as close to Eva Braun as you can get without a swasticka.

Back to the point. Yeah! New president. Wow, it's really interesting to see all those out of state license plates from places like Maine, Arizona and California. I don't know who told you it would be a good idea to drive into DC over the inauguration weekend. Maybe you thought it would be a good idea to have a car with you and you somehow thought that no one would have the same bright idea as you. But they did. And although this town might need your tourist dollars, I don't need you taking up my parking spots, and I definitely don't need you almost hitting my car with your stupid minivan because you are too busy pointing things out to those inbred mongrels you call children in the back seat. That's right, minivan lady with the North Dakota plate. Don't honk and get offended that I gave you the middle finger in front of your children. They don't look smart enough to understand language, and you cut me off, so I'm in the right here. So watch where you're going, buy some nice souvenirs of the Washington Monument, get back in your minivan and go home.

By the way...I have off-street parking behind the ninja fortress, but most of the week I was parking on the street and taking up valuable parking spaces that could be utilized by tourists. why? because you cut me off, that's why!


FoggyDew said...

A good friend from my days in the Marines emailed me to see what the inauguration was like from a "local" prespective. I barely had the heart to tell her the prespective was pretty good from my couch and like many area residents I couldn't wait until everyone left.

She hasn't gotten back to me yet. Wonder why?

Jamie said...

I had no problem with the tourists, honestly. Are we really going to complain too much about one one billion dollars coming in to the local economy?

And traffic was generally pretty good. I really did not have that much trouble getting around, excepting the metro ride to the event itself.

Anonymous said...


Once again you are showing your humorous side but also your impatience and tendency to get REALLY mad, (and righteous @the same time...)

Very un Ninjalike!!!

Go back and watch some old kung fu movies ("when you can snatch this pebble out of my hand son...")

As for JC,we let him up here because he could catch a football.

Our entire CFL is blacks who couldn't make it in the NFL....

I will tell all my quasi Canadian friends in New Hampshire and Vermont to leave their cars at home next time.. Rent bicycles...

Maybe you should consider moving to Vermont,although I hear they don't need too many "Derivatives Lawyers" (ed:what the fuck is that?) up their..

media concepts said...

I'm not singling you out; I do this with everyone: What's your definition of "black"? Is it having a drop of Negro (yes, that's a scientific word) blood? Because that's the very racist definition used by the British when they had colonies around the world. Obama isn't black. He's bi-racial. Here's my simple ice cream test:
You serve yourself a bowl of ice cream with one scoop of chocolate and one scoop of vanilla, of equal size. You walk to the table holding the bowl. Someone asks you, "what kind of ice cream you got there?" Do you say "chocolate"?

HomeImprovementNinja said...

FoggyDew: Yeah, when I'm asked if its exciting to live in DC now, i reply "only when car window gets broken"

Jamie: I dunno...parking was a beeyotch that whole weekend.

Anonymous: thanks.

media concepts: I don't like the term "african american" because when growing up in brooklyn a lot of my friends were jamaican, west indian, trinidadian, etc, and none of them called themselves african american, they were black.

as to my definition of when someone is black? if you can't get a cab in NYC unless you're wearing a suit, then you're black.