Thursday, December 16, 2010


As if to mock me, it snows. I drove to work today, so getting home should be...interesting. Growing up in NY means that I have experience driving in the snow. So I know I won't hit your car on the way home today. Please do me the courtesy of returning that favor. Kthanxbye.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

I still hate snow

I stil hate snow. It's snowed twice this month. The first time, I saw it outside the window, but it stopped before I got outside, and left no trace. If other people hadn't commented on it, I would've thought I imagined it. The second time, I didn't notice it until the morning. It covered the tops of cars lightly, but melted and disappeared into the sidewalk, leaving no trace of itself.

My sister moved with her kids from South Florida to Wisconsin. They have never seen snow. Since they have never seen it, except in pictures, it must be a magical thing for them. But they live in Wisconsin now. I have a feeling that in a few years, they will tire of it and see it for what it is. Something cold, wet and annoying.

If you like snow, it's probably because you don't have to shovel it. My parking spot is behind my house, and you get to it by the alleyway. Last year at this time, DC suffered the worst snowstorms that have ever been recorded. Do you know how long it takes 4 people to dig out a car wide channel of snow that's 3 feet deep and an alley long --by hand? 6 hours!

I've never been a cold weather person. I love the beach, I love the sun, the sand, the water (the bikinis!). When I was in high school and college and my friends would take ski trips to Vermont, I would never go because...I hate the cold and I hate the snow. The idea of being outside all day and being wet and cold isn't appealing to me. But if you've never seen the snow, I guess it's magical. If you don't have to shovel it, I guess it is beautiful.

If it snows really hard here again, I hope I'm in Florida when it happens. I'd like to be watching it on TV, then going out to the pool with a towel and some sunscreen...I still hate the snow.

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Message from the founder of BloomBars ( BloomBars is a non-profit arts center in Columbia Heights.

If you can't donate, pass this message on to a friend or family member who would be interested. WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT and we are grateful for any help you can offer.

You can learn more and make a tax-deductible donation online at:

Now the message:


Dear Friends of BloomBars,

In a matter of days, we may be facing a world without BloomBars.

No more guitar lessons for kids every Sunday. No more impromptu jam sessions among new friends at Cipherstock. No more open mics for high school students and other artists honing their crafts as poets, musicians, comedians and storytellers in a supportive, alcohol-free, all-ages space. And no more music wafting out of our double-doors into the streets of Columbia Heights, welcoming neighbors and passerby to share the experience.

Please take 3 minutes to make a tax-deductible online donation to BloomBars to help us prevent this from becoming a reality. BloomBars is calling on people like you, who believe that art can transform communities and change lives, to donate now and stay in our home!

How often do you see children as young as 5 performing at an open mic? Or youth at a Saturday night rock concert bonding with the musicians during sound check? Or high school teachers sharing their poetry at an event attended primarily by their (cheering) students?

How often do you see people from all over the city and world-- regardless of age, race, or income-- come together and give a stranger a hug after listening to local musicians?

There aren't many places where cultural, generational, and socioeconomic diversity come together in a physical space-- particularly not around the arts. The simple choice to provide an alcohol-free, all-ages space for learning, performing, and engaging with each other has had amazing effects.

Without your support today our ability to keep growing (and the doors open) is in jeopardy.

I’ve heard BloomBars called a “venue.” It is not. It is you. It is me. It is our community. And its future is not guaranteed. Please, help us continue planting seeds.

There are three things we ask of you:

1. Make a tax-deductible donation now! WE HAVE LESS THAN 57 HOURS TO REACH OUR GOAL OF $20,000!

2. Invite 10 friends to learn more about BloomBars on Facebook or via an email. We'll even make it extra easy: Here's a template you can use:

3. Make the BloomBars logo your Facebook profile photo for a day.

We are counting on your support and your help in spreading the word!

Until Soon, Keep Blooming.

John R. Chambers
Chief Executive Gardener

Sunday, November 14, 2010


I've been toying with the idea of starting a new blog, since I haven't been writing much on this one as of late. Watching it sit here is like watching that once mighty TransAm or Camaro sitting on blocks in the driveway, a mere shell of its former glory.

Stay tuned...

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Capoeira Workshop on Sunday October 3, 2010

Hey All, be sure to check my friend Bomba's Capoeira Workshop at BTI Dance Institute on 14th street in downtown DC. It's on Sunday and it's a great opportunity to learn from the only Contra Mestre in Capoeira in DC!

Sunday, October 3 · 4:30pm - 6:30pm

LocationBTI Dance Institute
1515 14th St NW Suite 200 (near P St)
Washington, DC

Created By

More InfoThe D.C. area's only Contra-Mestre direct from Brazil will be conducting a capoeira regional workshop at BTI Dance. Beginning students will learn basic capoeira movements and by the end of the workshop will be able to execute a combination of movements in sequence. Intermediate students are also welcome, and will learn a combination based on their level of experience.

No prior experience is necessary. Beginners should wear loose fitting clothing and light footwear; advanced capoeiristas should wear traditional white capoeira pants and a t-shirt.

Come ginga with Contra-Mestre Bomba, Capoeira Barro Vermelho!

Email for more information or go to to register. Cost is $29.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Random improvements

I've been too busy and unmotivated to do anything major at the fortress, but I have been smaller projects here and there, like painting, which takes only slightly more effort than laundry, when done correctly.

The key is to have all the right tools, like this mixing attachment that you put on to a power drill. Tools are awesome when they do all the work for you.

Here is the Living room window before. There were some repairs done to it, which is why there is new bare wood there. It looks better after painting.

Here is the living room window after. It looks cleaner, doesn't it? Well, except for that shitty looking radiator.

Here is the kitchen window before.

kitchen window after.

I also got out the heat gun (yes in the summer) and stripped some paint off the stairway railings to re-paint them.



This was a lot harder than it looked ("that's what she said!").

Sunday, August 01, 2010

Crappy Singer's Publicity Stunt Makes Media Waves

The stupidity of the media never ceases to amaze me. Every year when PETA decides to run some outrageous publicity stunt, it always makes it onto the news. Like their commercial that was sooooo racy that it was banned from the superbowl. No mention is ever made of how they would have come up with a bajillion dollars to air the ad if it had been accepted and aired on the most expensive advertising slot in history.

Peta's Banned 2009 Superbowl Ad - Watch more Funny Videos

So you are surprised that the superbowl wouldn't run an ad that had a woman masturbating with a piece of broccoli? Really? That's news to you? You didn't see it coming (no pun intendend). It didn't occur to you that they intentionally wanted it rejected so that they wouldn't have to pay $20 million for a superbowl ad, but they would get millions in free advertising from the networks showing coverage about their "banned" ad?

Last week I saw a clip on the news about another publicity seeking moron. She is supposedly so intent on getting married that she set the date, booked the place (february 2011) and is now looking for a husband to meet and get married in less than a year. Is this woman an accountant? A lawyer? A human resources professional? Nope...surprisingly, she's in the entertainment business. Whaaaaa?!? An unsuccessful songwriter who's now on national television singing her sh1tty song about finding a husband. Lisa Linehan has parlayed this stupid stunt into a reality show, sponsorships and a media blitz. Way to go Lisa!

As for CNN and the other supposed news channels, I have news for you. We're fighting two wars and a recession. The nation is trillions of dollars in debt, the party in power in congress may change hands soon, there is a Supreme Court nominee who's fighting to get nominated etc. etc. etc. Why don't you use your bandwith for REAL news?

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Earthquake smerthquake...

I don't think I've been in an earthquake before, and I've never heard of one happening in DC in the 10 years I've been here. Around 4am though, we got one. I was up since I had insomnia, which is a mixed blessing, I guess, since it would suck to have slept through that historic event. And yes, I would've slept through it because I can sleep through anything, including falling off the top of a bunk bed when I was a kid. I mean, I woke up sore in the morning, but I slept right through it (Feel free to mentally insert a "that's what she said" joke here).

Anyway, as far as earthquakes go, it was pretty mild. I actually didn't know it was an earthquake until I saw it on the news. It sounded and felt like there was a police helicopter hovering overhead looking for someone. I'm sure most people who are up at 4am and here what they think is a police helicopter outside would do the obvious like close down all the p0rn browsers on their computer, flush all thier cocaine down the toilet or throw more stuff on the pile of clothes hiding the dead hookers in the basement. But I did none of that. I just kept watching inane YouTube videos on failblog. Like this one:

Friday, July 09, 2010

free plug fridays

If you're going to be in town this weekend, a friend of mine is appearing in a group art show at the new Cre8 Space Gallery. It's a blues music themed art show and there will be a live performance at 8pm by blues guitarist Michael James "Blues" Baker, who is almost a thousand years old. The address is 1314 9th Street NW. (9th and M street). Click on the link above or THIS ONE for details.

Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Back to the Future

Well, it turns out that another important day in pseudo history came and went unnoticed by me and many others. It turns out that a couple of days ago was when Doc and Marty McFly went to
the future and hijinx ensued. Although July 5, 2010 must've seemed like a meelyun years in the future, it was, in actuallity not that far into the future--especially when you consider that Michael J. Fox still looks like a teenager(a teenager that's married to his mom, but still...).

When I saw this I was saddened a little bit. Sure, flying cars are almost here, but it will be a long time before I commute to work in one. And WTF happened to hoverboards?

If there is anything that kept me going during the dark period known as the 1990s, it was the thought that within 10 years I would have one of these bad boys and life would be good.

We can put a man on the moon, but we still don't have hoverboards?

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

Thank you Gentrification

It's no secret that I love gentrification. As more and more trendy restaurants and stores move into Columbia Heights, I get happier and happier. The more people who want to live here, the more my house will be worth when I decide to sell it soon. If some hipster who moved here a year and a half ago thinks that this place will lose something if it starts to look like Bethesda, I will laugh and try to keep from punching him in the face. When I moved here 6 years ago, this neighborhood was not much to look at. The Giant Supermarket had just opened up, but the Target Mall was still a few years away and unlike now, where you get a selection of Pho, Fusion, Mexican, Vegan and any other trendy dish that your heart can imagine, when I moved in here the only place to eat within walking distance of my house was the bullet proof chinese food place. It had a wall of bullet proof glass and if you wanted something, you YELLED your order through the bullet proof glass, placed your money in a bullet-proof lazy susan and passed it to the other side, then they would place your food in the bullet proof lazy susan and send it your way.

Now, a block away from that same bullet proof chinese place are a wine bar (with paninis!) and a new craft beer bar/restuarant, a brick oven pizza place, and a community arts center. Thank you gentrification!!!

Now, develepment doesn't happen uniformly everywhere. There has been an eyesore near the ninja fortress since before I moved in. A burned out shell of a building that once housed a jazz club, but currently houses mice when the weather gets bad.

Now that Gentrification has reached a certain point, even this burned out sh1t-hole is worth buying and fixing up into something nice. Gentrification = reinvestment in infrastructure. Get it?

So this former eyesore is being gutted as we speak and will very shortly (hopefully) look like this:

WELCOME FUTURE NEIGHBORS! If this place is a little to pricey for you, I have a nice fortress very near by that I'd be willing to sell you :)

(pic from capital city real estate)

Friday, June 25, 2010

Well, I'm on week 2 now of my Couch to 5K program. I've never been much of a jogger, but I think I can handle this. It starts of easy (run 60 seconds, walk 90) and takes about 1/2 hour out of my day. I've been doing it at lunch with a co-worker (insert a "that's what she said" joke here).

It starts of slowly like an old man lowering himself into a bathtub and the running intervals get longer and the rest periods get shorter until you are running the full 5k.

So far it's been fine and it will help my cardio. Next week I'm also going to start doing 3 classes of muay thai a week (same night as my jiu jitsu) and a capoeira class that I started on saturday. I'm hoping to do a jiu jitsu tournment in August so hopefully the threat of someone kicking my ass will motivate me to work harder to prepare for it. Winning a medal is nice, but not getting your ass kicked and having it posted on YouTube is nicer.

I didn't think I would like Capoeira, but it's fun. Sorta like a cross between yoga and break dancing. Georgette said that Capoeira looks amazing when it's done right, but it doesn't look that way when I do it. Still, it's a great workout. The next day you are sore in muscles that you didn't even know you had. The class is near my house and the instructor doesn't speak english, but with my "monkee see, monkey do" skills I manage it.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Trashcan Sinatras

I went to the Rock N Roll Hotel last night to see my favorite band, the Trashcan Sinatras. If you don't know who they are, I feel sorry for you. I'm not surprised you haven't heard of them, because they are far less popular than many shitty musicians (Yes Brett Michaels, I'm talking to you) but they are really good. They are the greatest (and possibly the only) rock band to ever come out of Scotland. I realize that saying you are the best band in Scotland is like saying you are the toughest kid on the chess team, but I assure you they are the best band you've never heard of.

I normally wouldn't be caught dead in Northeast DC (because it's not the safest area in DC and if you wander around there at night, you may literally be caught dead there), but I braved the rains, winds, junkies and hipsters and stayed up later than I should of on a school night, but it was worth it. I hope I can catch them on the their next US tour. In the meantime, I've got a cool T-shirt.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

more questions than answers

I thought I would return to blogging, but I haven't felt like it much lately. My nephew, who turned 19 a couple of weeks ago, died in a car crash over Memorial Day weekend. That night I couldn't sleep at all and at 4am I watched this video more times than I can count. I don't know what I was looking for. Maybe I thought the outcome would change on one of those repeated viewings. Maybe I was looking for some kind of clue that it was all a mistake (that's not his car, somebody else was sitting in the driver's seat, maybe he made it out alive...). But no matter how many times I watched it, the ending never changed. Except for the crickets chirping, the video is eerily quiet and peaceful. They said he died on impact and didn't suffer. It's heartbreaking to watch, but although the ending never changes, at least it was peaceful.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Explanations are in order...not

Wow, I just noticed that, according to the date on my last post it's been about 5 months since I've written anything blogwise. If you think an explanation is in order, you'd be wrong. You get what you pay for, and I do this out of the goodness of my heart and my narcissistic vanity, so don't complain if it never comes ("that's what she said!"). I'm sure you'll get over the trauma of that just like you got over your first crush, or the dissapointment of learning that there is no Santa Claus (for those of you that learned that just now from reading this sentence, I want you to know that your parents only lied to you because they hate you, and that it will get better). I didn't get kidnapped and sent to Guantanamo Bay for interrogation; I didn't get hit by a car and I certainly didn't win the lottery--if I did, this blog is the last place I'd be right now. I just didn't feel like blogging. Writing is like a bowel movement (that's a simile your creative writing professor can be proud of), some people can do it regularly every morning and others need to be in the mood for it. You can't just will this sh1t into existence, right?

Well, I have been busy with work, the house, jiu jitsu, being the worlds greatest boyfriend etc, but not so busy that I couldn't have written if I really wanted to. The problem is that I didn't want to. I don't want to come here and make a big pronouncement like "I'M BACK B1TCHES!!!" because I felt like writing today and maybe I'll feel like writing tomorrow, or maybe I'll just make a sandwhich and ignore this blog like a petulant child pushing away that bowl of tater tots because, although he still loves tater tots, he's a big boy now. If your wondering where I'm going with this, that makes two of us. See you guys later, unless I don't. Zen much?

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I've been making small incremental progress on the house. I painted the kitchen the other day, then had a barbeque with lots of beer, meat and people who love free beer and meat. Anyway, here are some before/after shots of the kitchen.

Before: Not bad, just too...white.

After: I like how the doors at the end stand out now.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Odds and Ends

Well, I'm going salsa dancing for the first time in a while on saturday. It's kind of a birthday thing. I haven't been to The Salsa Room in ages, but hopefully I still have some impressive moves. Back when I was dancing pretty regularly, I was asked a couple of times to join a performance group, but I seriously doubt that anyone would ask me that now (unless all the top dancers in the area died in a horrible plane crash and they started looking for improbable replacements). I think once I reached a certain level of skill with salsa, it stopped being a challenge, and I found other things to do. I didn't want to to keep at it long enough to be the best, because although I liked it a lot, it wasn't my life's passion or anything.

Someone asked me if I was going to keep doing jiu jitsu until I reached black belt. I don't know if I'll want to devote another 8 years or so to that goal, but I'm not as good as I want to be yet. Maybe in a couple of years I'll be where I want to be and find a new hobby. But jits is complicated and people keep inventing new moves all the time. I've heard from others that 10 years ago, no one played half guard, but nowadays there's people who specialize in butterfly guard, half butterfly, rubber guard, the 50/50 guard, X guard etc. Maybe it's sufficiently complex that you could do it forever and never master it? Or maybe working in an office means that I need some kind of physical activity to keep myself grounded. And there is nothing more physical than trying to rip someone's arm out of their socket when they are bigger than you and don't want to get their arm ripped out of it's proper socket. Just a thought.

Also, I started watching Lost recently. I don't want to be one of those annoying people who watches Lost and talks about it constanlty, but it's not bad (it would be much better if they killed off Charlie and Michael, who are incredibly annoying though). I think I find it tolerable because I can watch it on Netflix and not obsess about the cliffhanger endings. I can just go to the next episode and watch what happens. I am on Season 2 now, but I hope to be fully caught up by the time the final season comes on so that I can watch the last season with the rest of you losers...err, I mean dedicated fans. In the spirit of comraderie and fanship, here's a low-budget video re-cap of the first few seasons of Lost in 5 minutes. It was done by a guy and his extended italian family. All scenes were shot in his living room and basement. The special effects are pretty low-budget (and hysterical).

Monday, January 11, 2010

Thoughts on Steroids

Mark McGuire admitted being on steroids during the season when he set the record for the most homeruns in baseball. This is disapointing, but not surprising. If you look up Olympic gold medalists, you will find Carl Lewis' name displayed, but if you are old enough to remember the olympics that year, you will remember that he was smoked by a certain Canadian who was built like Schwartzenegger, but was stripped of the gold after her tested positive for roids. For all eternity, whenever they show old Carl winning the gold, you will see him getting beaten by a guy who looks like the terminator, and the announcer will tell you about the steroids and disqualification. If Mark is stripped of the record, I wonder if Sammy Sosa will be the Carl Lewis of baseball. (and if Barry Bonds is reading this, just because you haven't come clean like Mark doesn't mean that you are fooling anybody).

The difference between someone who bats .200 and someone who bats .300 is an extra zero on the end of your paycheck. That's a lot of money for such a small difference in performance. When there is so much money at stake and people keep expecting feats from sports athletes that are, literally, not humanly possible without steroids, it is not surprising that athletes will resort to that. The surpirsing thing is that most of the people who use steroids are not professional athletes. They are weekend warriors in the 30s looking for an edge. For them, it's not about money, it's about winning. And if you decided that winning is more important than winning fairly, then I guess you can justify all kinds of things like insider stock trading, rigging a presidential election, creating a mortgage apocalypse, or getting the government to bail out your sh1tty car companies. Maybe steroids are just a side effect of a winner-take-all society?