Thursday, April 05, 2007


Yesterday I had one of the greatest days in my life. I had a complete stranger tell me that I was normal. That may sound like nothing, but the complete stranger was a cardiologist so the fact that he said I was normal was better than winning the lottery. For the past couple of months I've put on a few pounds and several grey hairs worrying about the results of a sonogram that I had done on my heart. Readers of my blog will remember that a few months ago I was bragging about the results of some special tests I had done. I also mentioned that the technician did a sonogram of my heart and told me that they would mail the test to a cardiologist who would mail me back the results. I got the results back on Valentine's Day. The irony of getting a letter on Valentine's Day that said I could potentially die of a broken heart was not lost on me.

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. If the worst thing you could do to a paranoid person is follow them around with black helicopters, the worst thing you could do to a hypochondriac is to tell them that there is something wrong with them; something fatal. After I had a physical, I scheduled an appointment with a cardiologist. The referring doc said it was "probably nothing" but not to exercise in the meantime...just in case. I wanted to be reassured, but I wasn't. It's like when the police tell you that you're not a suspect, but that you shouldn't leave town. The doctor said the results had "TDS" or Technically Difficult Study written on them, meaning it was difficult for them to get a good picture of my heart, which might be why something looked abnormal to them. Shit. "Abnormal". I get freaked out even typing that word.

After worrying that I, literally, might die, the word "normal" has never sounded so good to me. After another sonogram, which involved a hot nurse (no, really, really hot) rubbing gel on my macho ninja chest, and a stress test which involved me running on a treadmill while being hooked up to more wires than the back of my computer, the results were: NORMAL. Although the other tests I took before all said that I was exceptional in every way--Ninja-esque, in fact. I was ecstatic that I was "normal;" more than ecstatic in fact. The man with more degrees than a thermometer and a strange accent said I was normal. THANK YOU, GOD!!!


Lemon Gloria said...

That's great news! How scary.

E :) said...

They probably knew there was nothing really wrong with you. They just wanted your money.

Glad you're ok, er, "normal."

Twoste said...

My brother had one of those intensive exams done after having an unclear sonogram of his heart too. The doctor came back and told him that he needed a coronary bypass and I thought my mother was going to die in my arms.
We asked the physician to recommend someone for a second opinion, so the doc went to his desk to get the contact info for a specialist heart doc.
Upon re-entering the exam room, the doc had this awful, embarressed look on his face and promptly told us that he had mixed up my brother's test results with another patient and that my brother was in optimal health.
We had to restrain my mother from killing the doctor, proving that my whole family is in good spirits.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations on the good news! I'm happy to hear it.

Leslie said...

Wonderful news!! I understand totally where you're coming from... less than a year ago I was handed a bunch of "For folks who just found out that they have colon cancer" pamplets for something that 2 docs and 2 radiologists said looked cancerous, but it turned out that it wasn't. There's nothing in this world that can describe the relief.

Keep healthy, keep strong, keep working on your house!! ::grin::

mysterygirl! said...

Health problems suck, especially when they are about something as serious as your heart. Congrats on being normal!

Anonymous said...

I know exactly how you feel. I had to do a gel on the chest sonogram thing after my doctor thought I had arhythmia (and she made me take these horse pill antibiotics when I went to the dentist). The nurse who did the sonogram told me I was "normal" - very apologetically too. As if I'd like to be special in that way!

Lara Ziobro said...

Congrats there on the good news!

m.a. said...

I'm happy for you. Now you can get back to taking on the world by storm with your ninja skillz.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Lisa: Thanks :)

E: well, I'm not "normal", but my heart is.

Twoste: I don't know why everyone puts doctors on a pedestal. They frak up just like everyone else.

Dagny Taggart: thanks.

Georgetown House: Thanks. Yes, being confronted with your mortality is terrifying.

mysterygirl!: Thanks. But I'm not normal. I'm a ninja, remember ;)

beledy: yeah, it's weird how they sound disapointed when they say "I don't see anything unusual". As if they excpected to find a gold dubloon in there or something.

LJ : Thanks.

Momentary Academic: Yes. Soon, my enemies will feel my wrath again!


Hey ninja, i used to work at a cardiologists office. Let me know if you have any questions.
Glad your okay.

ps i found it odd that you finally put a pic of yourself. In all your other posts you said you liked the anonymity of the blog. What happened?


Oh i forgot my new guess (now that i see your pic up) on your country of origin is going to be Costa Rican...???