Thursday, August 03, 2006

Karma Chameleon

Well, I finally got that effin' car out of my driveway--no thanks to DC's finest. When I called at 6am and they said they would send the next available vehicle, I assumed that between 6 am and 9pm there would be at least 1 cop somewhere in DC that wasn't busy doing something more important (like popping wheelies on their cop bikes or stuffing their faces with doughnuts), but I guess I was wrong.

Anyway, I'll post about the rest of the story tomorrow or something, but I'm pissed off because this morning my washing machine died. I got 4 loads of laundry and that thing craps out on me? There's a laundry place a block from me, but still. I don't want to go there and waste half a saturday watching my clothes because some degenerate might steal my overpriced metrosexual jeans and sell them for crack. Especially not on a saturday when the temperature is supposed to hit 100 degrees and humid. Plus, public laundromats suck. One time when I was hanging out George Bush and Dick Cheney, Dubya said he would rather get cock-punched than have to go to a public laundromat--true story. So I cock-punched him, then the secret service tazered me and beat me with their fascist batons of oppression....good times.

So Instead, I have to waste half a saturday at Best Buy or Sears to order a washing machine. I have to buy some underwear, jeans and T-shirts at lunch today to last me 'till I order a new machine and get it delivered. Yeah, I'd rather do that than sit in a 110 degree laundromat on a saturday. But basically, what I was really wondering is if this has anything to do with Karma? Could it possibly? I mean, I'M THE GOOD GUY HERE. Why is Karma messing with my washing machine? Why doesn't it go mess with Hezbollah or something. Aren't there others more deserving of pusnishment? Is this payback for the dead hooker or catholic jokes I'm always making? If so, I'll stop...or pretend to 'till Karma forgets.

Anyway, I'll try to discuss my detective work (i.e. knocking on doors and asking "is that your fcuking car in my driveway") and "negotiation" (i.e. "move your fcucking car right now") with the driver tomorrow. Right now I'm pissed off and need coffee. the cable that I cancelled finally went off this morning. CRAP!!! I have some DVDs that I can watch until I upgrade my Netflix account to up my number of delivered movies, but I don't know how many times I can watch "Dude, Where's My Car" before I really lose it.


m.a. said...

Again, I should do the neighborly thing and offer the use of my washing machine. So here goes: You're more than welcome to wash a load or two. But then again, who doesn't want to go shopping and get one more pair of jeans worth a crack hit or two?

dara said...

Three little words that got me through law school exam time:


Find a (trustworthy and clean) laundromat that provides this service, and you're home free. Well, more like $1 a pound, but still. . . .

Anonymous said...

Not your day, is it? Poor ninja.

nolatravelgirl said...

Don't buy Kenmore Washer. They suck

Raincouver said...

ODG. No cable. Get ready for violent convulsions of withdrawal. Netflix is a poor methadone, I'm afraid.

Twoste said...

NO CABLE?! oh wait, NO WASHING MACHINE?! In this heat? You crazy. Loco.
I guess you could new clothes when the old ones get dirty.
I find your lack of cable disturbing, however.

Anonymous said...

Well Ninja Dude, save your Saturday. Go online pick out what you want call them, order, set up delivery. Done. I usually use Sears, they carry most manufacturers. Good Luck.


HomeImprovementNinja said...

MA: THanx for the offer.

dara: nice theory, but I don't like people touching my stuff, so I don't want some stranger putting their paws on my underwear.

siryn: oh well, these things happen.

prncess: Actaully, most Kenmore washers are made by whirlpool, so they all suck.

rain: 2 days no cable and I'm already suffering.

twoste: I'm bought some clothes yesterday, and I got to buy some sheets today (friend is visiting from outta town). I wish they made disposable stuff.

anon: thanks for the tip.

Big Daddy said...

Honestly, when it comes to temps over 85, I see underwear as more of an annoyance then anything. If it's over 85, I say just go 'commando', especially if you are wearing jeans.