Wednesday, June 13, 2007


My friend has an organization that has balls. I mean that literally. And this Saturday, is one of those balls. There is a ball on Saturday at the National Museum of Women in the Arts. So if you want to see one of my friend's balls, then you should go. There will be two, count 'em, two live bands, food, drinks, and me in a Tuxedo. Since I didn't get any good shots of me in a Tux at the wedding I went to, I'll try to get some of me at this event. You can buy tickets on the website. Bring your wife, and if she can't make it, then bring someone else's wife. What's a little adultery between friends?

In our Whaaaaaaaa? segment, why haven't the US newspapers picked up on this? Our moron president gets his watch stolen right in front of his crack Secret Service squad. Good job guys. I know you couldn't keep the First Daughter's wallet from being stolen right under your noses, but this...hahahhahaha.

Also, Bush should keep his mouth shut...always. How do you think the American people would react if the Russian President showed up in Texas and demanded independence for the parts of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California that were inhabited by illegal aliens from Mexico? Well, when you show up Albania and demand "independence" for Kosovo so that Albanians living there illegally can take the land from Serbia, don't you think that's a leeetle inflamatory? It's bad enough that halfwits like Madeline Not-All-That-Bright turned Yugoslavia into a bloodbath, why not send Bush in there to stoke up ethnic hatred and see what happens? Since you're plan for Iraq worked out so well, why not give the Serbs some tips on what to do in Kosovo, right?

In other news, I'll be in NY 'for the next couple of days. This is related to my long-term goal of running my own hedge fund one day. A head hunter called me a few weeks ago about a gig at an investment bank in NYC. I wouldn't mind an extra $100,000 a year in salary, but I don't know if that's going to help with my long-term goal of running my own fund and being my own boss. I don't know if I really want this job, but I know that I at least want to be offerred the job so that I can turn it down if I want. It's always good to have more than one date to the prom even if you are a hot chick with great tits. And I want these NY bankers to be in love with my professional tits. "My better than yours..."

In still other news, a few days ago someone, in my professional capacity, called me an asshole. He said it as he slammed the phone down and I'm guessing he didn't think I heard it. In case you're thinking this upset me, you'd be wrong. I think the feeling was mutual and I kinda like the fact that I ruined this guy's day and got to him enough that he couldn't even wait until the phone receiver was in the cradle until he let fly his little passive aggressive rant at me. Hehehehhehee.

Hopefully I can post more soon. I'll think of something, but my mind is mush right now. Since I don't feel like thinking for myself right now, does anyone have any suggestions for me on what to do? (besides "go fcuk yourself").


Anonymous said...

I think the investment banking gig would provide pretty exceptional experience toward future hedge fund baloney. You could look at it as getting paid $100K annually to learn stuff. That's 4x what I get paid to be a 'professional learner' as a graduate student and all I get at the end is initials after my name and the occasional "Hello, doctor" thrown my way out of pity. If I were you, I'd take the job and the money and the learning opportunity. I mean, do you realize how much damage a ninja with that kind of pocket change in NYC could inflict? A lot. That's how much.

m.a. said...

Enjoy New York! Here's to the starting of a Hedge Fund.

JulieGong said...

I love ruining other peoples days


lol man - youve been gone for a while, i graduated college and got engaged has it been that long?

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Sir: I wouldn't be getting $100k, I would be getting an EXTRA $100k. But it would be doing compliance stuff, not investing.

MA: Thanks! When you're rich, remember where to turn for your alternative asset allocation strategies! (especially your long-only unleveraged special situation relative-value based strategies!).

julie: I know! It's almost as good as watching babies smile.

sailor moon: I guess so. Congrats on both events.

Anonymous said...

I know that living in DC is expensive (my niece is a social worker there) but I think NYC is worse. I assume you will want a nice place to live, will the extra $100 cover your increased living expenses?

I checked out the web site for the ball, it sounds like it will be awesome. I hope you get lots of pics.

Anonymous said...

Who cares about the money or the cost of living in NYC. You should totally take it if the people you'd work with are cool.

I'm sure you already know alot, but think of how much else you'd learn!

And you just gotta love New Yorkers!

Anonymous said...

You should have called that dude back and said, "Did you say something before you put the phone back on the cradle???" HA!

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Kathy: I'll see what I can do about the pics.

the cost-of-living calculator I found online says I need another $65k in NYC to match my living standards here, so I'll still be a leetle ahead.

Anonymous: Yeah, I think I'm getting antsy at work, but I gotta think about what my next move is.

Velvet: HA! Problem is he called me so I didn't have his number.

Anonymous said...

Do you want to live in NY? Do you want to work with these people? What do they expect for their $$ in terms of hourage? I worked for 3 years as a Broker, not even in NYC, and you do know that they breakfast on maalox and dine on babies hearts, right? Plus, you can never go home. Find out what the divorce and alcoholism rate is in your prospective department.

Anonymous said...

Going through the trouble of applying for a job just for the pleasure of turning it down? Sounds like fun... you must be pretty in-demand. :)