Monday, February 11, 2008


Still really, really sick. I took off from work today to wallow in self pity and get high on Nyquill. Even though I'm still stick, I can't sit home and watch TV all day like some housewife who married up, then quit trying to impress her husband.

This dog still needs to be walked otherwise he will poop on my floors. And even though I don't want to be bothered right now, it still wants to be up in my grill and demands to be petted and receive constant affection. It's like some really needy co-dependent girlfriend, except that there is no sex, so maybe it's more like a wife?

Anyway, I think yesterday I was the sickest that I've ever been...ever. If you would've come by the fortress and offered to put a bullet in me to put me out of my misery, I probably would've considered it. Of course, ultimately, my dog would've attacked you when you least expected it (his ninja training is progressing nicely) and decapitated you and laid your head at my feet as gratitude for my helping his escape certain death from a high-kill rural shelter.

Now, when I was a kid, I loved X-men comic books (who didn't, right), and my favorite character was Wolverine. Everyone wanted to be Wolverine because of his claws and adamantium skeleton. Wolverine, however, also had mutant healing powers. And when you're a kid, you think "so what? terms of superpowers, having claws and a metal skeleton is way cooler than healing powers." Well, if you thought that, then you never had the flu that I got.

I didn't have a thermometer, but based on my pain threshold, I think it was around 200 degrees celsius. Plus, I had sore throat, achy bones, and all kinds of phlegm that were colors that I didn't even recognize. If I had a canvas in the house I would've made you people a Jackson Pollock.

Anyway, my "point" , which I just realized I had, is that sometimes you underestimate a good, but not flashy mutant power, in favor of some other mutant power (like flying), but when you really need it, you learn to appreciate something like mutant healing.

Actually, I lied...I'm still feverish and I don't think I really had a point, but what mutant power would you like to have that doesn't seem so cool at first glance?


Anonymous said...

Hope you feel better. That bug going around is nasty.

Jennifer said...

Get better soon!

Jean Martha said...

bulimia? oh wait, that would be bad.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

anon: thanks.

Jennifer: thanks.

iloveupstate: that sounds like a cocktail.