Tuesday, January 29, 2008


Everytime another birthday rolls around, I get pensive. I was watching that new Scott Baio show on VH1 the other day. For those of you that don't know, Scott Baio had a "reality" show last season on Vh1 called "Scott Baio is 45 and still single". This season he is married and has a new show called "Scott Baio is 46 and still a douchebag". Actually, that's not the title, but it should be. Unlike most really rich guys, Scott is not some fat, bald investment banker working 80 hour weeks in order to get enough money to buy a trophy wife that doesn't have an eastern european accent. He made a lot of money off bad TV shows and is still young enough to enjoy it (not to mention that he has a full head of hair and lacks a spare tire around his midsection). On his way to being 46, he had sex a veritable who's who in hollywood hotties (Pam Anderson, Nicole Eggert, and numerous Playboy Playmates). Anyone who lived Scott Baio's life could be hit by a car and die a happy man, but all Scott does is complain and whine all day...you know what he does when he's not complaining? Neither do I, because he does it all the time. He's the Italian Woody Allen. Well, he whines like Woody Allen, only it's not funny when Scott does it, it's pathetic.

At any rate, one of the things I think about occasionally is settling down and getting married. Although I am the world's coolest uncle, I wonder what would happen if I don't settle down. In time, will I become an annoying whine-bag like Scott Baio, or this guy?

I think I'm in a better position (financially, emotionally and physically) than I was last year, but if you told me 10 years ago that I would be living in Washington, working for the government and spending my free time obsessing about countertops, I wouldn't have believed it. I have always been a libertarian, so if you told me 10 years ago (or yesterday) that I would be working for the government and enjoying it, that would be like telling a virgin in a convent that in a few years she will be working in a whorehouse and loving every minute of it.

For a second there I thought I was digressing, but digression implies that I even had a destination to begin with.

Anyway, I think (objectively) my life is okay right now. I have a house that is looking better, I have activities that I enjoy like meditation, salsa dancing, going to art museums and choking people. But I think I can do better. And as part of my introspection I have come up with interesting ideas about what direction my life will take in the next year.

I have a couple of nice trips planned and I've been getting calls from headhunters lately about job openings (some in DC, some in other cities), so I will be thinking long and hard (hehehehe "long and hard"!) about what to..."long and hard"...hahahha.

Where was I, oh yeah, Scott Baio is a douchebag.


Anonymous said...

Lots of the same thoughts happening with me lately...not where I thought I would be (which isn't always bad) but really trying to figure out what I want. Such a bother, this business of being a grown up.

Anonymous said...

I just turned 35 and remain single. After years of working for the government (it most recently involved guns and sand), I left to be a grad student and now make about 1/4 of my former salary. Happier than ever, though. Didn't see this coming, but being a professional student may very well be among the best jobs ever (lack of expendable income notwithstanding).

Anonymous said...

I saw a few minutes of that show for the first time just the other day, and I completely agree with your opinion.


i concur on scott...i know him like that to call him scott...shoot he put his life there right, just sayinnnn...... anywho if he could settle down at 46, youre going to much earlier than that. i think it will all work out after u get the dog lol "poke poke"

Anonymous said...

happy birthday?

HomeImprovementNinja said...

lemmonex: yeah, once you are out of diapers and have to start wiping your own ass, it sux.

You can call me, 'Sir': Yeah, I'd go back to school if I didn't already have too many degrees.

zandria: it's unwatchable.

SAILOR MOON: well the dog is good practice for a kid.

Anonymous: Yes, it was my birthday, thanks :)

Lemon Gloria said...

Happy belated b-day! Your life is good. Birthdays make everyone except really young kids pensive. Wanting to be younger, more this, less that. It's inevitable.

Anonymous said...

Hey!! Happpppy Belated Birthday!!!!!!

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Lisa: thanks Lis, yeah I think that's what it is.

suicide_blond: thanks sweet thang :)