Thursday, September 14, 2006

Man vs Mouse

I got some pretty impressive snap traps set up. They look lethal and are definintely painful. I know this because I accidentally caught my finger on one as I was setting it up. If these traps will nab someone as smart as me, then that Mouse, won't stand a chance. In case you're wondering if it will avoid the trap due to some unbelievable brain power that it acquired in some top secret government experiment to give mouses more smarts, don't worry about that.

  1. The Government wastes money on a lot of stupid things, but I doubt they would spend money to find ways to make mice smarter. What's the point?
  2. If the mouse were smart enough to avoid a mouse trap, then it would be smart enough to pick a different house, because trying to invade the invincible fortress is suicide. It's like trying to break into Shaolin temple to steal some ummmm, monky type stuff and trying to fight your way out.
  3. If it were smart enough to avoid traps, it would try to curry favor with me, to avoid death, by offering to TiVo Arrested Development for me, or trying to get me a date with Judy Greer or Rachel McHottie.
  4. I used peanut butter from the new Trader Joe's in DC to lure him in. What mouse can resist organic goodness from Trader Joes? (I also baited a couple of traps with chicken and corned beef, in case the mouse has a peanut allergy).

So I guess we'll see what happens this weekend.


E :) said...

The only disconcerting things about the snappy traps is waking up to a hugs snap in the middle of the night. I think my fear of killing things comes from my parents' use of these things when I was little - I'd wake up terrified every time one went off!

Good luck, Ninja.

JordanBaker said...

A friend of mine once told me a horrifying story about how his Texas frat house got invaded by giant rats, and how they all decided it would be a good idea to fill the living room with snap traps and then turn out the lights and sit on the couches drinking. I've blocked most of the story from my memory, but I know it included a lot of snapping noises and rat screams.

Unknown said...

i killed my first mouse last summer (with the good old fashioned -break em in two taps). the biggest problem (for me) was getting the dead mouse and the trap into some sort of box that i could close (so i wouldn't to look at it) with out touching it.

yes, i'm sure it would have been quite entertaining to see. me in my jams, a broom in one hand, holding the coorse light box firm with ny big toe while trying yo sweep the bloody mouse into it with out getting too close to the whole sodding mess. i looked like an idiot.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

e: thanks. see you at the HH?

jb: that's really disturbing. what kind of friends do you have?

lux: yeah, they are bad enough when alive, but freaky when dead.