Sicko.

I am sick. Realllllly sick. Because I don't ever get sick (even my immune system is badass), if this bug has gotten the better of me, then it's some kind of superbug that will destroy will destroy all mankind (and most of womankind) if not stopped.

I haven't been able to get up for almost 24 hours and I'm hurting bad. For the good of mankind (and womankind) someone should come over to my place and put a bullet in me to end this. If you do decide to come over and kill me, please be aware of certain things:

1. my place is a mess, because I am sick (and lazy) so don't judge me;
2. if you kill me, please return my Netflix movies (Apocalypto has been out for almost 2 weeks and it still sux as bad as the day I got it);
3. if you need to wash up to get the blood off, you should use the garden hose outside. You REALLY don't want to go in that bathroom after what's been going on in that toilet for the past two days. Jus' sayin'.
4. Also, could you set my VCR (my old skool TiVo) to tape tonight's Ultimate Fighter. When I come back to haunt the ninja fortress I'd like to see it.

Thanks!