Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The One Where My Friend Comes For A Visit

I have an update on the battle with the mouse situation, but I'll do it in a day or two since I have to upload the picture first. Yes, it's what you think it is. In the meantime...

So last week I was lucky enough to get a surprise visitor. My first DC friend Sailor Moon was in town for a deposition. When I say she was my first DC friend, that’s not an exaggeration. We actually met during orientation at the grad school program we were in. DC is a very transient place, so it’s nice when you can reconnect with old friends.





Sailor Moon is very gifted in the ways of the job-hunting Force. She is like the Career Yoda. By the time the rest of us were figuring out how to use the metro here, she had already gotten a job at the best law firm in Sillycon Valley. When the dot com bust happened. She left her firm, with a severance package two months before a massive round of layoffs where no one got anything but a security guard escort to the front door with a free box to put their belongings in. Mad Job Skillz!

Anyway, I had dinner with her and a friend of hers (who’s probably reading this right now) at a place called Kelly’s Irish Times. It’s an irish bar that’s frequented by the type of annoying yuppies who play adult kickball (it’s a DC thing) and go to bars afterwards wearing their team uniforms as proudly as if they had just played and won a game in a real sport. Sorry kidz, but if it’s a “sport” that is played by 5th graders because the coordination required is so rudimentary that it won’t negatively affect even a child’s self esteem, then it’s not a real sport. Despite the bar’s shortcomings, they have chicken fingerz, and any kind of deep fried food can make up for a lot of sins.

So we talked about the Ninja Fortress, my plan to make a living from Ninja Stock Picks ™ and my dating life. Needless to say, each situation was pretty pathetic, but showing signs of hope. Sailor Moon had a baby recently, so did her cute friend. The conversation eventually turned to my plans for procreation.

SailorMoon: You ‘re good with kids…you should have a child.

Ninja: I’d like to, but I don’t have a uterus.

SailorMoon: [to friend] He’s kidding about that….tell her you’re kidding.

Ninja: ummm, okay…I was kidding about that…I do have a uterus.

SailorMoon: Arrrrghhhh!!!



We discussed my super-secret plan to eventually leave my job for something better and to make millions. All I need to do is to figure out what the “something” is and I’ll be all set. Maybe I can open a restaurant and sell deep fried food to Yuppie Kickball Leagues?

4 comments:

SAILOR MOON said...

i must say i am so happy about this nick name you gave your friend. Why? Well beacuse im a Sailor Moon FRiek!! lol and i lover herrrrrrrrrrrrrr and all the sailor scouts... but im sure you dont watch it ... right? lol anyways !!
kikimia power!!!
PS---You know whats sad i actually know the theme song...."Fighting evil by moonlight, Winning love by daylight, Never running from a real fight

She is the one named Sailor Moon!
She will never turn her back on a friend,
She is always there to defend,
She is the one on whom we can depend,
She is the one named Sailor...

Sailor Venus!
Sailor Mercury!
Sailor Mars!
Sailor Jupiter!

With secret powers
All so new to her
She is the one named Sailor Moon!

Fighting evil by moonlight,
Winning love by daylight,
With her Sailor Scouts to help fight
She is the one named Sailor Moon!
She is the one named Sailor Moon!
She is the one ... Sailor Moon!

okay i dont know why i wrote the whole thing..... oooookkkkk

HomeImprovementNinja said...

K, yeah I love that show. The original Japanese version is sexier though.

Actually, I gave her that name because she likes to sail, but the superhero stuff is sorta like a bonus. If I ever meet you, I'll give you a nickname too.

Julie_Gong said...

Let me tell you that so far my proudest free t-shirt is from college when my team became the champions of kickball.

I worked hard that game... smoking cigs in the outfield and trying to not knock my beer over. Also a sac fly in the championship game for the big win. I love kick ball and I don't care if retards are able to play it is fun and I am a yuppie.

Do you think Sailor Moon can work some of her job magic on me?

suicide_blond said...

ahhh..kellys irish times on kickball night!...ive witnessed this phenom. & i was with an "out of towner" who was incredulous.. "THIS is what y'all do up here instead of.. oh i don't know...maybe running the country!"
lol..