By the way, although Smith & Wesson is a great stock, I don't recommend using their product to shoot kittens...unless you need a cheap laugh to fill up your blog post, in which case Buttons dies.
Okay, just to update, I said I would try to update you imaginary people if I ever buy or sell, so… I accidentally sold all my shares of Embarq (EQ) yesterday. It was up as much as 18% from where I bought it, but I had a trailing stop loss on it which sells automatically if it goes down by 8% (so I don’t have to watch the market everyday). It was going down for a few days in a row and I had intended to move the stop loss off, since I didn’t want to sell, but I forgot and it sold me out of the position (then went up afterwards, of course).
I didn’t want to buy back in at higher price than I had sold, so I tried to sell a bunch of puts on it. My online account wouldn’t let me do it since I needed to fill out a special options form. CRAP! So during my lunch break I went down to the broker’s office and I filled out the form with the old lady broker. Hilarity ensued.
Broker: You realize that we don’t allow naked puts on options.
Ninja: Huh? Why not…I like naked puts. Although
I call ‘em “nekkid” puts.
Broker: Yeah…they’re too risky, so we don’t allow them.
Ninja: Ummm, yeah…I know about the risk, that’s why I wanted to do a spread position. You know, sell some puts, then leg into some other ones at a different price to hedge the risk.
Broker: Yeah…we don’t allow that.
Ninja: Quit staring at my ass!
Broker: Excuse me?
Ninja: Look, lady, you’ve been eye-jamming me since I walked in here, then I start talking about naked puts, and legging into a spread positions then you get all hot
and bothered and start staring at my ass.
Broker: How can I stare at your ass if you’re right in front of me.
Ninja: AHA! So you admit you’re staring at my front. The crotch is like the frontal ass, you perv.
Broker: I was doing no such thing, why would I look at you that way, I’m old enough to be your grandma.
Ninja: That makes it even more sick. I’m leaving, Miss Purvella McPurvey.
So basically, although I like Scottrade, I gotta find another broker now. One that lets me do naked puts. I sent away for an application from OptionsXpress, which got a good review from Money magazine, so hopefully they are not Latvian gangsters out to steal my money and buy a whorehouse in Riga.
I’m still working on the Ninja Stock Blog. For those of you who care, it will be at InvestingNinja.blogsome.com, but it’s not done yet. I’ve just been too busy (read: lazy) to finish it up yet.
5 comments:
OK Oh great stock Ninja - explain to us amateurs what a "put" is...
One other thing:
http://whiteninjacomics.com/
Ooops. An option gives you the right to buy or sell a stock at a certain price.
If you BUY a PUT, you are buying the right to sell the stock back to someone at a lower price. It's like an insurance policy. By SELLING a PUT, I'm collecting the insurance premium and betting that the stock will go up and I'll never to buy it. The good part is, if I'm wrong, I'll have to buy the stock (which I like) at whatever the price is (but I've gotten paid the premium, which makes it cheaper).
Kickass, Ninja, your little exchange with Purvella McPurvy made me spit out my coffee.
Get crackin' on the investing site, Ninja! damn.
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