Friday, March 30, 2012

Eating the Elephant

Q: How do you eat an elephant?
A: The same way you eat anything, one bite at a time.

I'm 200+ pages into Good Calories, Bad Calories. It's 600+ pages with enough footnotes to give a NASA scientiest a hardon. It's drier than a box of saltine crackers, but very informative, albeit with a lot of science jargon. As someone without a background in science, it's hard to digest but not impossible. I don't have a background in finance either, but I managed to do really well in those classes in law school and can hold my own in conversations with PhD quants and economists. You can learn anything if you really want to. But you have to want it, it's not for dabblers.

Some of the things in the book are so contrary to the conventional wisdom that it's hard to believe, despite the science to back it up. (If you're worried about triglycerides, throw out that glass of orange juice and eat a steak instead) I had intended to read 20 books this year on my new e-reader, and so far this book is number two. I'm falling behind schedule, but I'll keep plugging away at this because I need to fully understand the science so that I can plausibly order a plate of ribs and claim that it's health food.

In case you think I'm exaggerating about the complexity of the science or the mind-blowing conclusions about nutrition, have a look for yourself:

Consider a porterhouse steak with a quarter-inch layer of fat. After broiling, this steak will reduce to almost equal parts fat and protein. Fifty-one percent of the fat is monounsaturated, of which 90 percent is oleic acid. Saturated fat constitutes 45 percent of the total fat, but a third of that is stearic acid, which will increase HDL cholesterol while having no effect on LDL. (Stearic acid is metabolized in the body to oleic acid, according to Grundy’s research.) The remaining 4 percent of the fat is polyunsaturated, which lowers LDL cholesterol but has no meaningful effect on HDL. In sum, perhaps as much as 70 percent of the fat content of a porterhouse steak will improve the relative levels of LDL and HDL cholesterol, compared with what they would be if carbohydrates such as bread, potatoes, or pasta were consumed. The remaining 30 percent will raise LDL cholesterol but will also raise HDL cholesterol and will have an insignificant effect, if any, on the ratio of total cholesterol to HDL. All of this suggests that eating a porterhouse steak in lieu of bread or potatoes would actually reduce heart disease risk, although virtually no nutritional authority will say so publicly. The same is true for lard and bacon." (emphasis mine)

Gary Taubes, "Good Calories Bad Calories"

It's like being told you are in the Matrix and nothing you've been led to believe is real. If it wasn't so serious, it would be farce:

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Elvis is everywhere!

I randomly remembered this song that has such awesome lines "who built the pyramids? Elvis!" The girlfriend thought I made it up, but after a few minutes I found it and started singing it. Elvis is everywhere, baby, enjoy it!!!

Thursday, February 02, 2012

I'm an uncle!

I got the news last night that my sister in law gave birth to a baby boy. I wonder why people always specify that it was a "baby" boy. Is that really a necessary adjective? Are there a lot of people who give birth to full grown boys, such that you'd have to specify to avoid confusion?

"Really? you had a boy? a baby one or full grown? a
teenager? that must've been painful!"

I don't know if it was a "bouncing" baby boy because no one dropped him, but he appears to normal in all other aspects. In fact, better than normal...exceptional! Very handsome. He looks strong too (a future jiu jitsu fighter? one can only hope).

Saturday, January 14, 2012

Happy Birthday Elvis: the other kind of Fight Club

Happy belated birthday to the third greatest American to ever walk the earth, Elvis Presley. In case you are wondering who the first and second greatest Americans are, they are Thomas Jefferson and Jack Lalanne, in that order. You might think this is open to debate, but it's not. Arguing about this is like arguing about the existence of gravity; it will just make you look foolish.

Here's something you didn't know about me. Some people don't work Christmas, some don't work on Thanksgiving or Easter. But me...I don't work on January 8th. Cuz' that's Elvis' birthday! Some people think I kid about how awesome Elvis is, and that I heap fake praise on him like it's some kind of performance art. But Elvis was awesome because he genuinely didn't a sh1t. The world was segregated but he played black music. He wore ridiculous outfits and ate peanut butter, banana and bacon sandwiches whenever he wanted. He had a pet monkey and if he didn't like what was on TV he would shoot it. He was a black belt in Karate back when that actually meant something. Fcuk Charlie Sheen, Elvis is the real one with Tiger Blood in his veins. In other words, Elvis was the original Honey Badger!

So I don't know what you did last weekend, but I celebrated by going to the Elvis Birthday Fight Club. As part of the show they had an Elvis Trivia contest and they asked for volunteers. I was chosen. And if you think I'm good at fixing houses, derivatives law, or jiu jitsu, that's nothing compared to how awesome I am at Elvis Trivia.

I had a worthy opponent, but I won. In fact, I smoked him! Trying to beat me at Elvis trivia is like trying to beat Rosie O'Donnell at a doughnut eating contest: not gonna happen!

Anyway, I had a great time and look forward to doing it again next year to defend my title. So who are your top 3 americans of all time?