Tuesday, May 30, 2006

My 15 Minutes of Fame Becomes 16

Unfortunately, I'm home from work today so I didn't get my copy of The Express today. For those of you outside the DC area, The Express is a small free paper that the Washington Post gives out to commuters outside of the urban hipster metro stations in the hopes that you will be so impressed with their ability to report the news that you will eventually break down and pay $0.35 for a full copy of the big paper (instead of reading it for free online). The reason I said "unfortunately" is because I was quoted today in the paper. I could've been like on the metro, seen it, then taken off my iPod and yelled, "read it and weep you hipster poseurs! I'll bet you'll be crying into your venti moccaiato decaf now, bitchez"

Actually, I probably wouldn't have done that. 'Cuz then you have to try to explain to the cops why you were yelling, and you can show them the paper but then you gotta tell them about how you're not really crazy and you don't really think you are a ninja, and "no, I'm not armed...and i don't need a psych evaluation, really I don't...I feel fine" So anyway hopefully someone I know in real life will have the sense to save me a hard copy of the paper. If it's Johnny Vegas, I'm sure he'll charge me like $10 for it, but that's just how he rolls.

25 comments:

Hustleman said...

Congratulations bro!

Just in case your real-life friends let you down, I'll refrain from drawing moustaches on the pictures in today's Express and hang on to it for you.

Andy said...

Your screenshotting ninjitsu is improving greatly.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

thanks, hustleman. By the way I may need your photoshop skillz for a project I'm working on. I'll contact you offline.

andy, yeah I figured out how to do a whole page. It's pathetic that I can't even master a Mac. Thanks for your help on the last express thing.

LibertyDC said...

Congrats Ninja!

Reid said...

Too bad I don't ride the Metro, because this morning, the person next to me woud have suddenly yelled out, "Holy crap! Home Improvement Ninja is quoted in the Express!", then I could look over, act all cool and urban hipster and say, "Pfft. I read that in his original post, not from some second-hand source." I would have resisted shaking my head and muttering, "Pathetic" after that, but it would have been implied.

The Blonde Menace said...

I read it this morning!!! I felt all cool for having a famous blogger as one of my blog buddies. I can hold on to it for you if you want it!!

mysterygirl! said...

Sheesh-- isn't this your third or fourth mention in the Express? I remember seeing you quoted one morning (about the smell of onions on your seatmate), and I rarely ride the Metro in the morning, so I rarely see the Express.

You are famous.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

chris, thanks.

reid, that's why people ride the metro: to feel superior to the rest of the scum in this city. Well, that and to read the free paper.

blonde menace: thanks, I appreciate it.

mysterygirl, yes, this is like the fourth time (plus the WaPo did a big piece on Housebloggers and I was one of the two mentioned). I'm not really famous though. No one's named a sandwhich after me, and when I try to scam free food at restaurants by offering my autograph instead of cash, they say something like "sir, if you don't pay us with real money we're calling the police."

Velvet said...

Oh good lord. I can't see that small print. Now I have to download it.

Dara said...

Congrats. I even read it on the train this morning.

liberalbanana said...

Dude, they fucking love you! It's insane! This is, what? Time number THREE? AT LEAST? Come on, who did you sleep with on their staff?

If I had grabbed a paper today (which I did not as I'm trying to get through Wendy Boucher's novel) I would've taken off MY iPod and exclaimed, "Holy shit! Home Improvement Ninja strikes again! DAMN!"

liberalbanana said...

Ah, right - fourth time - didn't real through all the comments before posting my own. When will I learn??

Kristin said...

Wow, you are becoming a regular celebrity! Next thing you know, people will be picking through your garbage and crouching in the bushes to snap photos of you while you sunbathe in the nude.

mere said...

Somebody really reports the news?

Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

Pretty soon:

"WaPo Ninja Express"

Now you get to wonder which of these fools are commenting just hoping to get noticed by the Gods at Blog Log.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

velvet, when you drive to work ya' miss all the cool stuff.

dara, thanks my fellow metro dweller.

liberalbanana, cool new avatar, but why do you assume I'm sleeping my way to the top rather than being noticed for writing? I mean, I know I'm studly and all, but I'm more than just a pretty face. Not a lot more, but still more nonetheless.

kristin: only one thing wrong with that scenario. I don't sunbathe nude...I'm catholic.

mere, the WaPo actually does a good job. The best news source is the WSJ, the worst is Fox News (like watching a WWII war propaganda reel).

Marci, I hadn't thought of that. You're deviouuuuuuus. I like it!

JordanBaker said...

The Express is so totally your bitch.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Jordan, as a feminist, you shouldn't use the word "bitch". You should be using the PC term "ho-bag."

In other news, I got my first piece of spam in the comments section just now. But I deleted it, so there is no trace.

Spammers take note: I will not be fcuked with!

Stef said...

Congrats, Mr. Famous Ninja Guy! You really are like the Blogger POSTer boy. Haha, get it??? Yeah, I know, I need sleep. ;-)

Reya Mellicker said...

What was really cool for me, in addition to being demi-famous for 24 hours, is that they put me right next to you. I feel so cool, so urban, and so hipsterish.

Jamy said...

I am jealous.

brando said...

The ninja wins again.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Stef, I'm not a pun nazi. All forms of humor are welcome here. Except for mimes.

Reya, just living in DC automatically makes you cooler than most of the people in the flyover states.

jamy: don't hate the playa, hate the game ;)

brando: always bet on black!

KassyK said...

Jordan Baker is SO right...the Express wants to make babies with you. :-)They heart the Ninja.

Hustleman said...

No problem. Write me at HustlemanL77@yahoo.com and let me know what you need. I'm about to put a link to your site on mine, too.