Saturday, May 06, 2006

Driving in Cars With Kennedys

For those of you that don't like my random libertarian rants, stop reading now. You can get your fix of home improvement stuff and ninja news in a couple of days.

When my future daughter is old enough to go away to college, I'm going to warn her about the dangers of drinking, sex, and letting a Kennedy drive you home. It's bad enough that sloppy drunk Ted Kennedy killed someone with his drunk driving, but now his coke head nephew was driving, probably drunk, and wrecks his car, narrowly avoiding a parked cop car. He claimed he was on his way to congress to vote...at 3am. If you or I smashed up our car, smelled like a brewery and were walking wobbly, we would probably be arrested for DUI. So what does Pat Kennedy get? He gets the cops to chauffer him home without checking his blood alcohol level. After coke head Pat Kennedy blamed prescription drugs and martians, he is now checking himself into rehab. As a libertarian, when I hear of politicians getting special treatment and playing by a different set of rules it disgusts me, but doesn't surprise me. It's like when they tell you what they make hot dogs out of. You already knew you weren't going to like what you heard, but you listen anyway. So thanks for proving you're a weenie, Pat.

In other news CIA head and all-around low life Porter Goss has resigned. I think the timing is suspicious. After Duke Cunningham is convicted on corruption charges, we find out that a lobbyist provided hookers at the Watergate (yes THAT Watergate) to him and "a high level intelligence official". Porter Goss claims to have played poker at the Watergate with Duke and and the lobbyist, but claims that "no women" were there for prostitution. Hmmmmm? The Day after the prosecutor subpoenas the Watergate to find out who got what hookers, Porter Goss resigns. That sounds suspicious. If I were to guess, I think ole Porter looks like the kinda guy who likes Tranny hookers. You know..."chicks with dicks". I mean, look at the guy. He looks like the kinda guy who would frequent Tranny hookers and say something like "just because you have a wee wee, that doesn't mean I'm gay..I'm a republican, dammit!"

Okay, so in the spirit of bipartisanship, I mocked both Republicans and Dems. As a libertarian, I can do that. That's why you should all vote libertarian in the next election. If you don't vote for a libertarian next time, that means you condone drunken driving, tranny hookers and ummm, cannibalism. Yes, cannibalism! That's right, I went there.

10 comments:

Velvet said...

Being a Libertarian rules. But unfortunately the Lib candidates are usually whackjobs. i.e. "Mr. Douglas was recently released from prison..."

What I tell myself is that a Libertarian way of life is good for me and others who are smart enough to know how to behave in society. But for those who need governing...lord.

Allison said...

I've got to agree with velvet. It's like communism - it sounds like a great idea on paper. Everyone gets what they need, all things are allocated evenly, but people in power inevitably go corrupt and screw over the common man. It's the same thing with libertarianism. The sad fact is that a good portion of the population is composed of assholes. And if these assholes, especially the rich assholes, have free reign to do whatever they want, they'll do anything to get richer, no matter how unethical, and with no regard to long term consequences.

Anonymous said...

so, are libertarians oppossed to drinking/driving and prostitution?

also i dont really understand how politicians getting off easy disgusts you "as a libertarian". does it disgust you as a "US citizen"? or just the libertarian part?

it disgusts me and i'm no libertarian

HomeImprovementNinja said...

velvet, yeah too bad there is no good mainstream candidate. I'm bad at public speaking, plus I hate politics.

allison, talking bad about libertarianism on my blog is like calling the Pope a Pollock. Well, the old Pope. The good one. Not that Nazi we got now.

anyway, it wouldn't be like that because with a weaker government we wouldn't have rich assholes like cheney giving your tax money to their rich asshole friends. They only way they would get money is by providing stuff that non-rich assholes like me want. And it DOES work. It worked for the first 100 years of this country, where we had unparrelled growth.

anonymous, if that's your real name...it disgusts me becuase only in a nation where politicians are so powerful are people afraid to treat them equally. people cower before them instead of arresting them. They curry favors from them with cash instead of competing on the merits. Only when you take away their power will you end the corruption.

REPEAL THE SEVENTEENTH AMENDMENT!

Momentary Academic said...

Your logic is, like, totally flawless, ninja.

Sam said...

I find nothing wrong with tranny hookers. They're like having your penis and a pretty face all in one package. What's better than that?

brando said...

I was going to go to the Libertarian convention in Iowa this year, just to check it out, however the ACLU was teamed up with them and also speaking at the event. I ended up not going, cause the ACLU disgusts me, but it would have been fun to see what they had to say.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

MA: thanks.

Sam: well, variety is the spice of life. A lot of people think it's paprika, though.

Brando: the ACLU is not that bad. They shower way more than the marxists.

Stef said...

When I heard the Kennedy news story, as a Democrat, I just hung my head in shame. Is it a curse or just damn predictability? At this point, the jokes write themselves.

Stef said...

Happy bad anniversary! Guess what May 9th marks:

On this day in 1913, the 17th amendment to the Constitution, providing for the election of U.S. senators by popular vote rather than selection by state legislatures, was ratified.