Sitemeter: My Internet Crack

I don't think I should've ever installed Sitmeter on my Blog. Now I check it way too often, to see who's visiting and how they got here. Some people get here by asking random home improvement questions like "how do you install a marble saddle". Which reminds me to get that done so I can post about it. Stay tuned you marble saddle people. It turns out my site in number one in google searches for "connect copper to galvanized". Who knew my plumbing skillz would be legendary on the internet? I don't know whether to be honored or ashamed of that...or maybe a little of both.

Other people get here by asking random ninja questions like how you make a ninja smoke bomb? I wish I knew the answer to that, it would come in handy when I reach for my wallet at some clubs that charge $20 cover charges. I could just throw a smoke bomb and disappear into the crowd of metrosexuals, still keeping my 20 duckets. Actually, if you really want to know how to make a ninja smoke bomb, read this. Probably the best ninja question I've seen that googlers use to find my blog is "what do ninjas eat?"


Well, here's a pic of my actual fridge. If you're keeping track:
1) four kinds of beer. (the one's I'm almost out of are Corona's...luckily I quit drinking last saturday).
2) Diet Cokes
3) Sunny D
4) Yoo-Hoos (those are my nephew's, ninja's don't eat those).
5) olives (I don't eat olives either...ever, so those may have come with the house)
6) mayonaise
7) Special K breakfast cereal
8) Organic Soy Milk.

In case you're wondering, yes, my fridge always looks like this.



Now, I should mention that I try to be careful about what I say on this blog because I don't want it coming up in google searches for porn or anything. That's why I was trying to cut down on the dead hooker jokes. But it looks like I was too late. As of now, my site is the number 2 site on the entire internet for people that ask the question "how do you get rid of a dead hooker". (let's all click on my site for that querry so that I can move to number one). Now, I don't know who the guy is in Arizona who has come to my site twice looking for how to get rid of dead hookers, but I am speechless by this.

1. Arizona has thousands of square miles of desert, and you're looking on some ninja blog in DC for advice about how to get rid of a dead hooker?
   
2. your career as a master criminal is going to be pretty short if you need to look up ways of getting rid of dead hookers on the internet. Why didn't you think of what to do with that hooker BEFORE you ended with her corpse?
   
3. I hope there's a reward for you, Mr DeadHooker Guy. Because I'm not above ratting on a serial killer, even if he is a reader if it'll pay for my next trip to Maui...or a new Razr phone.
   

In other news...I'm both flattered and surprised by the amount of people linking to my site. But I am saddened by someone, who I de-linked the other day, who used to link to me, but now doesn't. I don't know if she doesn't find me funny any more, or maybe I just made one too many dead hooker jokes. I don't know; I can't explain it. I don't understand women at all (which is why I'm still single despite being not unattractive, a fabulous dancer, and a slightly-better-than mediocre lover). But if you don't want to link to me...FINE! There are plenty of other people out there who appreciate libertarian rants and dead hooker jokes...and one possible serial killer in Arizona. So there!

In other news, Judy Greer never contacted me for that date so I ended up cutting down those shrubs this weekend. I can' tpost pics because my computer is all jacked up again. Time to go back to Apple and get it fixed again.

I also have some other pics but until my computer is fixed, no more pics or email. Damn!