Sunday, June 11, 2006

From this day forward...

I am never drinking again. I know that I say that after every hangover, and say that I mean it. But this time I really mean it. I don't know what the hell will happen to all that beer I have in the fridge, but I'm not drinking it. Maybe I'll donate it to the homeless, they seem to like beer. Although I don't know if their pedestrian pallets can really appreciate some of the good belgian stuff I have. So maybe I'll just give them the miller lite or some of the other stuff I keep around to offer visitors who I don't really like. I know what some of you are thinking: that giving Miller Lite to homeless people is like giving them a Canadian coins or something. That it's cruelty outweighs it's charity. But some of those people are so far gone that you could give them turpentine to drink and they wouldn't know the difference. Actually, turpentine is probably the main ingredient in miller lite, so that's not even an insult.

Anyway, I'm better today. (I was hungover for a good portion of yesterday, and was locked in mortal combat with my stomach who felt betrayed because during my drunken haze I walked all the way to Adams Morgan (probably like 20 blocks) to get a Jumbo Pizza slice and forgot to take my lactaid pill when I got home). In a positive turn of events, the cab driver who took me from the pizza place to my house didn't try to rip me off, despite my drunkenness. Unless I gave him seven $20 bills instead of seven ones, in which case I'll find him and kill him. He was some kind of middle eastern, drove terribly and didn't speak english very well. So if any one sees someone matching that description who is going on some kind of spending spree
and paying only with twenties, email me.

Anyway, I'm off to Lowes now to find the perfect medicine cabinet for the fortress. I'll post some pics if I get it. Hopefully I can get some actual work done today around here to prepare for my visitors. Next week, I'll post my ninja stock pix (I'm setting up a separate website for that) and I'll try to post some underpinning stuff.

10 comments:

Law-Rah said...

Twist my arm. I'll take the beer.

Stef said...

I hate that now that I'm in my 30's hangovers always last 2 days. Thus my rule to never get wasted on a Saturday night.

Hope you feel better. Good luck with the medicine cabinet!

Siryn said...

You need to pick a (relatively low but not teetotaling) number after which you start drinking water and water only. And eat more before you start drinking.

Gary said...

If I'm feeling generous I give homeless dudes $5 and state that they MUST NOT buy food with this money. They must go to the nearest liquor store and buy alcohol. Kill them with kindness and their own poison.

Leezer said...

hin:
don't get rid of the beer. You've got about four days of teetotalling in front of you, then you'll be back in the saddle. I promise.

Facinacion said...

ha ha yeah ... right... I know you mean it but ... who ever really sticks to the "not drinking again" hangover-delirium?

Kristin said...

I'll give my assvice for the day: I swear by guzzling water before going to sleep after drinking, and I've never had a hangover.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

law rah: you're a law student. I would be corrupting you.

stef: yeah, I guess it's a sign that I'm getting old.

siryn: my binge days are occurring less frequently, but occassionally my body forgets what a bad hangover person I am.

gary, the homeless are indestructable. I am convinced that they are the only ones who will survive a nuclear holocaust and they'll feed on our corpses...and beer.

funK: it's sitting in my fridge. I can't look at it now, but maybe that will change soon.

facinacion: Maybe this time I mean it...maybe.

kristin: I used to drink gatorade before sleep and sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. I was too far gone to remember something like that though.

The Blonde Menace said...

You know you're going to be drinking that beer by Friday Ninja Man.

If not you should donate it to the Champagne and Cupcake (and Beer) Celebration Fund.

ushakanth said...

Home Improvement its fine fit ur life.