Thanks Klaus, I feel better now.
This has been widely reported, but I have to ask what is going on over at Home Depot? People finding pounds of marijuana and kilos of cocaine in cabinets? And turning it in?
Helllooooooo. I mean, even if you don't use it yourself, I'm sure you know people that do. With all that pot, and some of my nieces and nephews now in High School, I could totally be the "cool uncle" forever.
And don't get me started on the coke. I mean, even if you don't want to sell it because of the whole federal prison thing, you could still totally be the man with a few kilos of that stuff. There would be no Hollywood party that would be off limits to you and you wouldn't have to pay for a lapdance for the rest of your life. Now, before I get some angry emails, let me state for the record that not ALL strippers are coked-up junkie whores...just the ones who dance at the type of clubs that I would frequent.
I mentioned before that I don't blog about the place that pays my salary. So the following is a hypothetical conversation between me and Lord of the Rings.
LOTR: Hey, we got a new intern starting today.
Ninja: Yeah? How big are her norks?
LOTR: She's a He.
Ninja: Okay, how big are his norks?
LOTR: You need professional help, man...seriously.
Ninja: I went to Catholic School, man. There's no amount of therapy in the world that can fix that.
LOTR: Too much info...seriously. Look, we got a new intern, do you have any work you need help with?
Ninja: Yeah...what's he know about drywall and electrical?
LOTR: Uhhh, nothing. Do you have any legal work for him?
Ninja: No. If he can't even hang drywall, why would I trust him with legal work?
My old roomate from Law School's Parents and Brother are in town this weekend. So I'll try to show them around on Saturday. I offered to let them stay in the Ninja fortress, but they opted for a hotel. I don't know if they were just being polite or if they were trying to say something about my personal hygiene. Jus' sayin'.
Anyway, this should be interesting. The last time I saw his brother, me, my roommate and him got into a fist fight with rednecks in a drivethrough and almost got arrested. This is an interesting story, but I'll save it for a later post because I'm too lazy to get into it now.
I hope everyone has a nice weekend.