In case you thought I was exaggerating about the need to fortify the defenses on the Ninja Fortress to protect it from attacks by drunken yuppies in SUVs, check out THIS!
This SUV plowed into a school that is within striking distance of the fortress. Luckily, those kids were probably cutting class, doing drugs, or engaging in unprotected pre-marital sex and were therefore no where near the school when the SUV attack happened. There’s probably a lesson to be learned from this, but I don’t know what it is, and, frankly, I don’t care. I just know that if someone crashes into the impenetrable ninja fortress with their SUV, they better be really, really high. Because when I get a hold of them, they are going hope that they are on some serious pain killers so that their deaths will be relatively merciful.