Tuesday, November 28, 2006

SUV Attacks Increase

In case you thought I was exaggerating about the need to fortify the defenses on the Ninja Fortress to protect it from attacks by drunken yuppies in SUVs, check out THIS!


This SUV plowed into a school that is within striking distance of the fortress. Luckily, those kids were probably cutting class, doing drugs, or engaging in unprotected pre-marital sex and were therefore no where near the school when the SUV attack happened. There’s probably a lesson to be learned from this, but I don’t know what it is, and, frankly, I don’t care. I just know that if someone crashes into the impenetrable ninja fortress with their SUV, they better be really, really high. Because when I get a hold of them, they are going hope that they are on some serious pain killers so that their deaths will be relatively merciful.

10 comments:

HomeImprovementNinja said...

Both comments deleted due to Spam. Don't make me turn on Comment Moderation, people!

ducklet said...

maybe the commenters in question 'lost control.'

hopefully, no one is injured and i will soon be high.

Siryn said...

This is really disturbing. Maybe you really do need a moat.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

ducklet, you've got kids. If anyone deserves to get high, it's you.

siryn, I actually parked the NLAAV out front for the past few days. (Not because of attacks, but because I was too lazy to move it out back). The rise in SUV vs home attacks is disturbing though.

Peach said...

what is up with you and SUV's running into shit LMAO

JoJo said...

How can you be certain that only Yuppies drive SUV's? Ok, granted I drive one but still...I haven't run into a building. Just a light post. I swear.

Velvet said...

HA! This reminds me of when that PR Whore Lizzie Grubman smashed her SUV and leather face into a bunch of peeps in the Hamptons. That still makes me laugh.

SAILOR MOON said...

Hehhehe You know what? Instead of a moat - you should place tire tacks and throw them down a distance enough that will cause the person to avoid hittin ya car! Just sayin...
love you NINJA!!!
kiki

HomeImprovementNinja said...

peaches, it's not me, it's the yuppies!

jojo, they do all drive SUVs. The rednecks drive pickups and the liberals drive hybrids.

velvet, yeah, and she made fun of them for being poor before she ran them over. Class!

kiki, that sounds good except...i live on that street too.

SAILOR MOON said...

i figured you can put it when your at the house...but that means you would need to walk...and out it back...hmmm maybe i can come up with something else... hmmm **thinking**