Wednesday, January 28, 2009

ice capades.

When I was a kid, snow was fun. I miss that. Now snow means having to wake up at 6 am to shovel my steps and the front of my house. I have a rowhouse, so it's not a HUGE deal, but it's annoying nonetheless. I guess what's so annoying is how pointless it all is. I don't have a lot of free time, but I have to get up early and spend time I would've spent doing something else, just to get my house to be how it was the day before (i.e. without snow in front of it). And every time it snows, I will have to do it again, with no payoff. It's like running in place, all that time and energy for nothing. (I was going to write that it's like dating a virgin, but this is a not PG-13 blog, so I want to keep the talk of handjobs to a minimum).

I know what you're going say, that if that's the way you feel, then why don't you stop wiping your turd cutter when you go to the bathroom? After all, it's only going to get dirty again, right? Well, that's different because everyone has to wipe their chocolate factory, but only people who were dumb enough to buy a house have to do things like shovel their driveway and fix leaky pipes. If I lived someplace warm (or in a condo) I wouldn't have to worry about shovelling my driveway (only wiping my chocolate starfish).

Since I'm the only sucker who got up early to shovel the ice/snow off his sidewalk, I had to slip and slide on the ice on the way to public transportation this morning. There was no way I was going to make it to the metro with all that ice and my broken toe, so I decided to ride the bus to work. Let me just say that society has a lowest common denominator, and you see what that is on the bus. Aside from the fact that most of the people on the bus were human (albeit barely), I don't think I had a lot in common with them and I think I'll learn to appreciate the mouth-breathers on the metro from now on. Another thing that sux: Although waiting for a train sux, at least your doing it inside.

Although the bus stop is only a block and half away, I barely made it and almost fell more than once (ice and snow turns to rain if you don't shovel it overnight). I hope I don't fall and hurt myself, but if I do, I reaaaaaallly hope it's in front of someone's house who has a lot of money and a home owner's insurance company that pays out really quickly and generously.

4 comments:

Jamie said...

Didda poor baby have to shovewl his sidewalk for five minutes wif a bwoken toe? And then ride the bus wif the stwange smelly people? Awww... poor baby.

There are 3 people in my office today, despite it being 40 degrees outside and the "snow" having long since stopped. This city is full of pussies.

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Tara said...

Hmmmm...is the comment above from someone applying to be your next virgin?

Fargo said...

We have a house on a wide corner lot, and we clear the sidewalk down to concrete every time. I wish that everyone in the neighborhood did likewise, but some of them never walk, just plant their butts in cars. All those fools do is clear their driveways and stairs. There should be a special place in hell for people who don't clear a walkable path on their sidewalks.