Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I'm In Love

I'm in love with DayQuil. THere, I said it. The past week I've been sicker than Dick Cheney's mind, and DayQuil is the only friend that hasn't abandoned me. I've been leaking bodily fluids from every orifice, coughing, sneezing, fever, you name it. But I still had to go to work, and go to my salsa class and breathe on people, so DayQuil was my wingman. I tired other things too this week. Theraflu, which sux. It's about as much help as a placebo or an evangelical faith healer. Threaflu? Therefraud is more like it.

But Dayquil is the ish in my book. It's not just the poor man's Nyquil. I mean, sure, if you're some teenager looking to get high, but too scared to ride your bike into the bad neighborhood to score some mescaline, than Nyquil is a good choice. But can you drive on Nyquil (without killing someone) operate power tools? WHat if a small commando squad of assassins broke into your home to kill you. Do you think you could effectively fight them off if you're hopped up on NyQUil. Even if you studied northern eagle claw kung fu for a year and a half when you were 15 years old, that might not be enought to save you. ANd what about sex? If I was on NyQuil my perforance would suffer greatly. I would move from mediocre to pathetic in the sack (but honestly, as long as one of us (me) is satisfied, then what's the difference?).

Anyway, I got prescious little done during this long weekend becasue I was so sick (and lazy). But I did use my compressor and nail gun to install some moulding and trim. I didn't do a lot, because I was lazy, errr, sick, but it's more than I could've don on Nyquil. Plus, I managed like 2 posts this week on Dayquil. That's not my best work, but if I was on Nyquil, I 'd probably not even have gotten out of bed except to go to the bathroom...maybe.

Anyway, I know that some of are thinking that it's kind of pathetic that my most successful relationship in the past couple of years has been with an over-the-counter flu medicine, and to that I say that you're just jealous.

6 comments:

Momentary Academic said...

Boy. You were a sickie on Saturday. Hope you are feeling better. And sorry I wasn't so chatty.

Twoste said...

"You know what's a fun game? You take three Excedrin PMs and then see if you can whack off before you pass out.
The fun part is you always win."

Peach said...

I loooooove theraflu lol. It makes me sleep. LMAO

Gary said...

"You know what's a fun game? You take three Excedrin PMs and then see if you can whack off before you pass out.
The fun part is you always win."


Sounds like someone has experience with this game. If your hand falls asleep do you lose, or is that considered the ultimate rejection?

SAILOR MOON said...

Well, I think personally that you should just take Tetricycline. To fight of te infections. Ummm I dont think I spelled it right, I just know how to say it in spanish lol. Thats my English version, and I am not lookin it up in the computer. But I can say it in spanish: tetreciclina. There you go, now you can ask some of your ethnic friends. This antibiotic fixed me up. I was takin over the counter crap for 2 months and I was still sick. Took this and in KA-POW! 1 week 1/2 later felt like a million dollars again.

JoJo said...

Now when do you begin experimenting with the pharmaceuticals?