I hate you , Steve Jobs. Right after I purchase a new cell phone and sign a 2 year contract, you come out with the world's greatest phone. I have to wait 2 years, which is longer than all my previous romantic relationships, to get my hands on that Apple iPhone?
For the next two years I have to stay with that horrible Motorola Razr and it's clumsy menus, when I could've had a phone, iPod, and internet device all in one cool gadget. I feel like the executive who has has to postpone marrying the mistress and keep making love to his first wife until he can figure out a way to kill her and make it look like an accident. I'll stay with you , Razr, but not out of love. It's only because I'm too cheap to pay the $300 cancellation fee to be with the younger, prettier model that I'm really in love with. Sure, in your day (3 months ago) you were quite a looker, but now there's younger, thinner versions and I think I deserve it. I know you think it's some kind of midlife crisis and I'll come back to you, but that's just wishful thinking. Oh, and don't bother asking for alimony...I'm broke.