Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Florida: Return of the Ninja

I spent the last few days in Florida. I'll be back in DC in a few hours. I came down here to de-stress by picking fights with my brother and working on one of the houses that we co-bought together. I should have some pics of us closing in the carport this week (if Comcast can get their ass in gear and turn my freakin' internet back on).

Lately, I hate flying more than usual. Not as much as I hate Comcast or the DC government but a lot, nonetheless. When I was a kid, I remember that flights to Florida included a meal. It was usually salisbury steak or "chicken" made from recylced cardboard, low-grade plastics and turkey gravy, but it was still food. During the airlines wars, they switched to club sandwhiches with lettuces in varying states of decay and a mini-pack of saltines, but it was still an actual meal. How can you call yourself an actual airline when all you give people to sustain themselves is half a glass of cola and a pack of peanuts. Cheapskates! What do they need flying waitressess, errrr, excuse me, "flight attendants" for if they can't even serve me a decent meal? And why, dear God, do you make me sit in the first row behind first class? I'm so close to luxury, yet so far away. I can practically smell the fine corinthian leather in the only-two-seat-wide aisles from my seat in the section where I sit next to the scum of the earth. That thin curtain is all that separates me from the good life. Well, that and a lot of money, but you get the point.

Anyway, it'll be good to get back in town. I reaaaallly hope the incompetents at Comcast can get my internet back on. I can't brag properly about my skillz if I don't have pics to show my imaginary internet friends how awesome I am. It'll be like someone describing a porn film without showing you any pics. Well, speaking of porn, I'm sure that Comcast will screw me yet again, but at least I have this forum to reap my cyber vengeance against them. Die, Comcast, DIE!

7 comments:

E :) said...

My internet is still coming and going as well. RCN and Comcast suck!

Raincouver said...

I am just about to get on the plane myself and it's always the same menu when I upgrade... sausage with eggs, sausage with frittata, or sausage with waffles.

At least the seats are large and comfortable, although I can still smell the plebes behind the curtain in economy class.

Hahahahaaaaa!

Hope the collective brings you back to the network soon.

Stef said...

I like Southwest's little goodie pack of Oreos, ritz peanut butter sandwiches, and gummy fruit snacks. But I think the nutritional value of that snack pack and the very concept that we could think of it as a "meal" somehow correlates to the obesity epidemic in America.

Happy flying!

Momentary Academic said...

Isn't it great that you have imaginary friends who think that you're awesome?

HomeImprovementNinja said...

E: We should start our own internet company which actually keeps the internet functioning. We'll be rich.

rain: those frittatas sound sweet. must be good to live the high life.

stef: I think some airlines (like southwest) still give cookies, which isn't soooo bad. But a mini bag of peanuts?

momemtary academic: yeah, It would be even better if you people were real, but nobody's perfect.

Heather said...

I love sitting in the bulkhead - that's where all the legroom is!

The Blonde Menace said...

Well now I know to avoid Comcast whenever my lazy ass gets around to getting internet in my apartment...