Friday, February 06, 2009

House Updates

In hindsight, opening the door of the van blocking my driveway so that the light would go on and kill his battery was not the greatest idea since the van was now disabled and sat in my driveway for an additional couple of days. If you're wondering why I just don't have it towed--that would make sense in any city besides DC. In DC, you can't just tow someone who is blocking your driveway (because that would make sense). Here's how you have to do it:

1) call the lazy DC police department NUMEROUS TIMES and get them to come give the guy a ticket.
2) tell the lazy DC police department SPECIFICALLY that you don't just want a ticket, but a "tow request" also.
3) then you can call a tow truck and have it towed from your driveway.

Anyway, I felt kind of bad that I killed the guys battery, so instead of leaving dog poop in his driver's seat, I just called the cops (several times) and had them give him a ticket for being in my driveway with a dead battery (I'm too nice, I know this).


In other news, mice have once again invaded the ninja fortress. I set up traps for them and killed six (apparently it was a small crack squad of mice). I haven't seen any in about a week and the last couple of mice were really small (babies actually) so I think I killed them all. I have a 100 pair box of rubber proctologist gloves that I use to get rid of the dead mice because I have a "thing" about germs. When my girlfriend first spied the box, she eyed me suspisciously and eventually mocked me mercilessly, but who's laughing now?


Anyway, throwing away mousetraps is gross enough when there is a dead mouse on it, but it's really, really revolting when the snap thing comes down on it's face instead of the neck and there is gross micey blood everywhere. (excuse me while I vomit in my mouth a little bit).

At any rate, unless these mice have gotten smarter, they are dead. I will give it another weak and then put away the traps until I spot the next mouse that's dumb enough to invade my ninja outpost.

6 comments:

Greg Smith said...

You get mice. I get scorpions.

Anonymous said...

you throw the trap out with the mouse?
Must be nice to be rich.
When my cat died I realized what good work he had been doing....

Victor trap,peanut butter...

Titania said...

My worst experience with a mouse trap with all and mouse included was back in grad school. Somehow the mouse moved while being trapped and the thing was still alive, but (I assume) with a broken back instead of a broken neck. I had to pick up the trap with the thing still in it (and screaming I assume, but I don't remember how mice screams sound like) and kill it. Awful.

Barbara said...

Mice and lice have a lot in common. Both don't really hurt anyone, but they are annoying as hell and people think you must be a dirty person if you have either.

SAILOR MOON said...

mice again? I think its time to another fortress or your neighbors are nasty and are harboring them long enough to get bored and rent at your crawl space lol

sexy said...
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