Wednesday, February 20, 2008

At least it's not syphillis

Sometimes when someone says something, you hear something completely different. I'm not talking about some kind of Freudian thing where you misheard something, like if a cute girl says "wait a sec" and you hear "wait for sex", but the other kind of thing where you hear the words, but the message is something different, like if a cute girl says "hi" and you hear "I want to marry you and have all your babies...take me now".

The other day I was talking to someone who occassionally reads my blog. I think everyone should read my blog all the time, but I don't blame people if they only occassionally come to their senses and need to read fine literature on the internet. I mean, if people read my site everyday, what would the NY Times do for money?

Anyway, I was at an art show where a friend of mine was painting while a grunge band played bad music in the background. It's not really as weird as it sounds (well, maybe it is, but let's pretend for a second that it's not). This guy bought a house and has had even worse luck than me (no really). Termites...wood rot...famine...plagues...locusts. Whenever you hear stories like that or the stuff on this site, it makes me feel a little better because I think that things could be worse and luckily they aren't. Like if you fall and break your leg and you think your life sux, and while you are waiting in the emergency room, the ambulance brings in a guy with a broken leg...and syphillis. And you think "wow...at least it's not syphillis. I can handle a broken leg, but not a broken leg and syphillis". And that's sort of how I feel about the house. I can handle the bad plaster, leaky pipes (hey, I'm getting better at plumbing, so get off my back) but at least there are no termites. Things are stressfull, but at least it's not stress from something that I really can't handle.

Anyway, we were talking about my new countertops that were going to be installed in a few days. He mentioned that as long as the cabinets underneath were really, really level, that there's probably nothing to worry about. Rather than finding that comforting, I found it terrifying. You see...I leveled the cabinets myself. And even though he said "if the cabinets are level, there's nothing to worry about", the implied message I heard was "if the countertops are messed up, it's all your fault."

The countertops went in without a hitch. This weekend I connected the diswasher and tried to connect the plumbing underneath the sink (More pics to come). It's a double bowl sink and after several trips to home depot for parts, I managed to get everything connected underneath. One side is working perfectly, but the other side is leaking...a lot. Oh well...at least it's not syphillis.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

At least it's not syphillis? You're setting the expectations bar pretty low, aren't you?

SAILOR MOON said...

i am glad youre seeing the brighter side, thats better than having syphillis lol

zoom said...

Just because your sink is leaking doesn't mean you don't have syphillis.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

I'm on the verge of putting the house that I remodeled on the market and little inconvenient things are already starting to pop up here and there. The house that has been the love of my life for 2 years is turning on me at the most inconvenient time. See, this is exactly why I have commitment issues.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

anon: yeah, it's easy not to be disappointed that way.

SAILOR MOON: yes, most things are better than that.

zoom: touche!

You can call me, 'Sir': yes, blame your commitment issues on the house.

John said...

I have always though of our story as a cautionary tale. Now, the next time someone asks me how the house is coming, I can tell them that it is like syphillis.

Anonymous said...

You mispelled syphilis.

HomeImprovementNinja said...

John: as entertaining as it is, I don't think I could live with the stress of moving an entire house and stabilizing it before gravity took effect.

Anonymous: I hope that means I don't have it.

Anonymous said...

it could have been ghonneria. way to keep things in perspective.
-Twoste

Anonymous said...

They quoted you in the Express today! Congratulations!

zandria said...

I'm impressed that you're able to do so much with your house yourself. It sounds like it takes up a lot of time, but it must also be rewarding to see how it's changed since you moved in. :)

zoom said...

anonymous #2: you misspelled misspelled.