Friday, June 19, 2009

Doctor Shmoctor!

Well, after another doctor visit and X-ray, it turns out that my finger is still broken. This guy was an orthopedic doctor with signed thank you jerseys from Mia Hamm and some other athletes, so he supposedly knows what he's doing. Well, he'll be getting no signed gi from me. Partly because those things are expensive, but also because I don't like what he told me. Four more weeks of no training? I'm already starting to get fat from lack of jiu jitsu. Not fat-kid-who-cries-during-kickball fat, but definitely not my normal self. I got the 5-months pregnant-mellon-belly thing going on. I've been getting antsy and actually went to a muay thai class yesterday and did the kicks and (left) punches, but apparently Dr McFraidypants doesn't even want me doing that.

Me: Well...what am I supposed to do for exercise then?

Dr: you could run...

Me: no, I hate running...I'd rather be fat

Dr: how about yoga? or pilates? it's great for core strength.

Me: Yeah, I heard with practice it can really strengthen your uterus.

What's more, is that after 4 more weeks I will have "functional strength" in my finger, but it won't be as strong as before for several months, so I have to take it easy or it might break again...but worse. So basically, I took half a day off work, paid for more x-rays and co-pays just for him to tell me bad news? That sucks. If I'm paying you, you should tell me good things! Tell me that it's healing faster than usual; that you validate parking; will give me more vicodin; and that a magic unicorn will take me back to my car. You suck!


Georgette said...

Well, can't you just tape it to your other fingers? Sorry, Dr. McFraidy will hunt me down now, but that's what everyone at my school does. Granted, it seems like the fingers take waaaay longer than a month to heal, and some never do... some do heal (and who needs 10 straight fingers? so trite! so yesterday!)

I got my thumb good and jammed doing takedowns two months ago and it still kills me. The joint is now apparently permanently larger than it used to be, so I figure that's a good thing. And I popped/dislocated for a second? the joint between my middle finger and my palm yesterday-- now, if I squeeze it, it crunches like CrackerJack and feels distinctly funny.

Rest schmest. Get a refund and some athletic tape.

Anonymous said...

You do, and you'll never play the violin the same way again.
--And you could try pilates before you dis.


Anonymous said...

I officially linked to you, brother. Over and out.


steve the plumber said...

Normally they can build / fix the finger by taping it to the next one.

Hope it heals soon

TheKillerJ said...

Hell, you're as random as I am. I like that your blog hits on jiu-jitsu, the human condition, home repair, and even has political undertones. I have you linked up to me. Cheers.

Killer J