Friday, July 25, 2008

Omen or Karma?

Sometimes it's hard to interpret random signs. Is it an omen? A test? A couple of days ago when I was walking my dog (not a euphemism for masturbation) I saw a cat pounce on a mouse and bite it to death as it was screaming. Is that a sign? If so, what does it mean?

A month ago I was at a bar and I ordered a drink, payed for it with a $10 bill, but the bartender gave me change for $20. Since I used to be a bartender and I know that it would've come out of her money at the end of the night, I waited in line at the bar again and gave her back the extra $10. The woman thanked me and one of the patrons felt it necessary to stick his two cents in.

Douchebag: why did you give it back? No one would've known if you kept it.
Ninja: Well...I would've known.
Douchebag: pshhh....if that was me, I would've kept it.
Ninja: Yeah...I know.


See, the thing is this: I'm not an asshole. If you do something objectively assholish, even if no one sees it, you're still an asshole. And your secret is pretty hard to keep because it will eventually bubble up to the surface. When you go out for dinner with friends, maybe people will see you not chipping in enough when the check comes around; maybe they will see you on the metro not giving your seat to a pregnant lady; or maybe they will just spot your Affliction T-shirt and dog tag necklace?

So yesterday I was meeting up with some friends here and while I was walking over from the ninja fortress, I spotted $15 on the ground. Since it had no one's name on it, I decided to pick it up and do what Karma intended for it: I bought beers for my friends with it. This was obviously a sign. I was going to a bar, and I spotted free money, so the universe was obviously endorsing that activity. Plus, I've got good Karma from prior acts, so this is the universe's way of saying "I like what you're doing, man, keep up the good work." Who am I to question the universe's master plan.

8 comments:

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

Agreed on all points. Life is tough and unfair (the cat/mouse thing makes for a pretty accurate metaphor, actually) and whatever we can do to take the edge off of it for someone else makes both parties happier in the long run.

suicide_blond said...

this...
is the way of the ninja....
xoxo

Anonymous said...

That's happened to me one time, found 60 dollars, bought dinner for friends with them. Just a payback for karma.
Gal

Anonymous said...

Once I was on a trip, riding a bike down a main street early on a weekend morning and found a $100 bill lying in the street. I bought gifts for friends, and a really nice dinner.

Beach Bum said...

I've gotten wrong change many times before. I always give it back. It's not my money too keep...

(Now random money on the floor, which I never find, that I would keep!)

HomeImprovementNinja said...

You can call me, 'Sir': If the cat and mouse thing is a metaphor for life, then I guess whether life is fair depends on which one you consider yourself to be.

suicide_blond: true dat!

Anonymous: yeah, Karma is good when it's working for you.

Anonymous: nice!

Beach Bum: good life philosophy.

zandria said...

I think I really like that idea of karma! That's what I would have used that $15 for, too. :)

Gary said...

Wouldn't it be funny if "douchbag" lost the $15.00?