Thursday, July 17, 2008

Odds and Ends

I haven't done anything major around the house because I'm lazy and I'm saving the money I should be spending to make sure my house doesn't fall down in order to plan for my Thailand trip. One (of many) thing(s) that bugs me though, is the amount of debris I have in the basement (pieces of wood, scraps of drywall, dead hookers etc.). It's not nearly enough to rent a dumpster, but too much to have laying around, so every morning when I walk the dog (not a eumphemism for self-loving, I swear) I take a piece or two and throw it out in a public trashcan. I keep worrying that the garbage police are setting up a sting operation to catch me so I walk the dog up different streets and "diversify" my crimes across each gentrified street.

In the meantime, I'm not worried about getting a ticket for not taking care of the front area of my house since I read that the city fired 18 home inspectors for being too stupid or lazy to pass a test that's required for them to keep their job. I think the germans have a word for that feeling you get when you take joy from someone else's misfortune: schadenfreude. These are people who make their living giving fines out to people who are too lazy to mow their lawns and they get fired for being too lazy to meet their employment qualifications. Irony much?

Also, in a few weeks I'm going up to Boston for a vegetarian wedding (not making this up). I don't think I can go a whole day without meat, so I'm bringing some beef jerky to snack on during the ceremony and reception, just in case(still not making this up).

4 comments:

iloveupstate.com said...

Sounds umm, Fiber-ific.

talkingbudgie said...

So will you be "walking your dog" much in Thailand?

HomeImprovementNinja said...

upstate: I guess that's one of looking at it...

budgie: unless I can get someone to walk it for me...

Jamie said...

Regarding your debris, why don't you just take it to Fort Totten? I go there about once every two weeks or so with a pile of crap. It's free, and if you go after 4 PM on a weekday there's never a line.