Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Aside from That Mrs. Lincoln, How Was the Play?

I noticed quite a few police cars with sirens on my way home from work yesterday. I assumed it was because yesterday was Free Ice Cream Day at Ben and Jerry's, and they couldn't contain their joy. But no such luck. I was about two blocks from the Ninja Fortress and I asked someone who apparently saw what transpired.

Guy: There was a gunfight, right here. [points to where we're standing]

LadyBehindMe: Oh my G*d, I hope no one was hurt.

Ninja: Oh my G*d, I hope that doesn't hurt my property value
when it's time to sell.

[looks of disapproval from Guy and Lady Behind Me and other lady]

Ninja: and uhhh, I also hope that no one was hurt or something. Cuz,
yeah, I'm like a humanitarian...and stuff...


Since I can be honest on here, I will say that property values were the first thing on my mind. Say what you want about gentrification, but there are lot less of these incidents since they started building luxury condos in my neighborhood. There are also nicer places to shop, better restaurants, and bars that you can take a girl to without her thinking that you are about to sell her to human trafickers. The only "restaurant" that was around before gentrification was a chinese food place that required you to order from behind bullet proof glass (not making this up).

I moved in a couple of months after the first supermarket opened in this neighborhood. I don't know where poor people got there food from before I moved there, but it's not something I think about a lot because it makes my head hurt. Since I've been there (only 3 short years) they have opened up trendy restaurants, bars, and now a mega retail place with Target, Best Buy, Bed Bath & Beyond, Washington Sports Club, and Staples. This place is starting to look like Bethesda (and I mean that in the nicest possible way).

Since I like my neighborhood the way it is, if you're thinking of shooting someone in my neighborhood, why don't you go someplace else and do it. As you can see from this METRO Map, you can take the Green and Yellow Lines from my neighborhood to other neighborhoods where you can kill each other without affecting my investment. It would be really nice if you took the train to the last possible stop. The Green Line train can take you to Branch Avenue or Greenbelt and the Yellow Train can take you to Fort Totten or Huntington. Thanks for your cooperation.

10 comments:

Marissa said...

See, now being a renter, I'm quite the opposite. A little shooting now and again, maybe a little shanking here and there will keep my rent low, right? I mean, no one needs to get hurt...seriously. Ahh, random acts of violence jokes before noon. Nice.

Anonymous said...

Seems like the shootings always go up when the weather gets nicer.

You can call me, 'Sir' said...

The safest place in DC is probably Arlington Nat'l Cemetery. I have a lot of friends interred there and not one of them has ever complained about crime in the area.

Not even once.

SickGirl said...

any chance this was a shooting fight that ended up busting up a car's windows? my friend came home the other day to his car in columbia heights with a giant hole in the window and tiny holes in his passenger side door and police tape all around everything.

he now says his car has street cred and is looking forward to telling future passengers to not "mind the bullet hole to your right."

suicide_blond said...

my fave quote from a dc realtor... when i pointed out that the ongoing gang war in the hood might affect the price...
he titled his head and said...
ummm...no....Metro Trumps Gang War..
xoxo

Anonymous said...

does everyone in DC live in the hood?

Jamie said...

I just got back from a weekend in New Orleans. My friend showed me the 9mm bullet hole that he'd recently acquired at chest level in the windshield post of his truck. Another inch either way he'd have been dead. And he lives in a pretty nice neighborhood.

Made me feel a little better about Columbia Heights.

Capitol Hill 20210 said...

The hood is everywhere, I live in Lake Ridge, which is a part of Woodbridge, 2 miles down the road is crap - 2 miles the other direction is crap. Unless you move to Montana - crime is fact of life.

Hence why I own a small arsenal.

not_interested said...

You're right. It probably is a city in Mexico. Sorry about the shooting. Sounds like a downer. I mean, of course, I really do hope no one got hurt.

kingstreetfarm said...

Hee!
I hate DC so very much. Just had to say that.