Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Election Results are Now In

Okay, well I want to thank everyone (nearly 200 of you) who voted in the Gay or European Orange Sweater Poll. I am thanking all of you, even though, statistically, more than half of you have no idea what the hell you are talking about. That sweater is clearly European. If it were any more European, it would need a freakin’ passport!

Anyway, I won’t contest the election results. More than half of you didn’t think it was European. I won’t mention what the exact results were because it’s not really important. This is a democracy, and democracy isn’t about gloating over the ignorance of the electorate. Democracy is about stealing money from the working man and giving it Dick Cheney’s friends at Haliburton.

I’m not really upset that some people (incorrectly) thought it was a gay sweater. In a weird and disturbing way, it’s a compliment. Women always say that the homosexuals are better looking and better dressers than straight guys, so it’s kind of a compliment, right? What I did find upsetting is the people that implied that only an aging homosexual would wear something like that. That’s a back-handed compliment. That’s like saying “for a fat chick, you don’t sweat much” or like when Joe Biden calls Barack Obama “articulate”.

Anyway, I was a little upset by that, but then I saw this:



This is worksafe. It's the only the best NINJA KITTEN music video ever made!

How could anyone be upset after seeing that?

And to the Anonymous trolls who had hateful things to say: HAahahahahahaha. Here’s a little edjumacation for you: Sun Tzu said “don’t trust your enemy, don’t take what he gives you.” If I was really worried about what people thought of that sweater and what it implied about my sexuality, I wouldn’t put it on the net for a bunch of strangers to critique it. But I am really taken aback by the level of hatred that you have for someone that you’ve never met. You lash out at some faceless person on the net, to make you feel like a big person, but don’t even have the courage to put your name on the comment. Anyway, let it go, man. “Is that where you want to be when Jesus comes back?” Try watching that video a few more times.

7 comments:

Gary said...

Dude,
Put on some eyeliner, wear your man tights, that orange sweater and dance like ninja kitten there and the world will say "Gay, gay gay!"

Of course you will increase your chances of getting laid if you let the ladies think they can turn you straight, but then that Catholic guilt stuff gets in the way.....

Twoste said...

Who cares what the world says? It was European anyway ... which is NOT synonamous with gay behaviour people, mmmmmmmmmmmmmkkkay?
We've fought two world wars on our continent? How many have you fought on yours?
We used to eat lard in time of rationing during those world wars? Have you ever seen a tough straight man that wanted to eat lard? Hell no! All the tough straight men in America want to spend their time preening in front of the mirror in the gym like Argentinian runway models.
Europe invented the missionary position. What sexual position has America invented? 69, mo fos. 69. THINK ABOUT THAT!
BTW, ninja kitten ... trippiest shit ever.

E :) said...

That video made me sea sick! It was worse than spending a day in front of a microfilm machine. It was also very joyous, or should I say "gay"?

HomeImprovementNinja said...

gary, I will not sit here and be called a gay by a brit. YOu're people practically invented gay. I mean, technically, it was the french, but still.

twoste: the people who made the ninja kitten video are on a link on the sidebar under "websites that don't suck.

e: You're sea sick because you live in Oz. How could anyone dislike that video.
1) it's Ska Music (which is the highest form of music ever created by mankind)
2) it's got ninja's.
3) it's got kittens, who fight like ninjas.

What's not to like?

Meokat said...

AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW

althought it was slightly annoying before coffee.

Zulhai said...

Don't be hatin', people.
The fact is that the ninja kitten is silly but quite fun, and the sweater is strangely attractive. --Sometimes it's best to just go with the positivity.

SAILOR MOON said...

I still ove me soem ninja - gay sweater and all

SAilor Moon!