Tuesday, June 08, 2010

more questions than answers

I thought I would return to blogging, but I haven't felt like it much lately. My nephew, who turned 19 a couple of weeks ago, died in a car crash over Memorial Day weekend. That night I couldn't sleep at all and at 4am I watched this video more times than I can count. I don't know what I was looking for. Maybe I thought the outcome would change on one of those repeated viewings. Maybe I was looking for some kind of clue that it was all a mistake (that's not his car, somebody else was sitting in the driver's seat, maybe he made it out alive...). But no matter how many times I watched it, the ending never changed. Except for the crickets chirping, the video is eerily quiet and peaceful. They said he died on impact and didn't suffer. It's heartbreaking to watch, but although the ending never changes, at least it was peaceful.

19 comments:

Titania said...

I am so sorry for your loss... big, big hug...

Lampesalot said...

I obviously don't know you but I have enjoyed reading your blog for a while now... I am so sorry to read about your sad news. best wishes to you and your family during this terribly difficult time...

Ashburnite said...

So sorry to hear this. My condolences to you and and your family. Hugs....

Mari said...

Sorry for the loss of your family member. You will be in my prayers.

Cyndy said...

I am so sad for your loss. May he rest in peace.

sprite said...

My sympathy on your family's loss.

Lemon Gloria said...

I'm so very sorry. That is heartbreaking.

Carla said...

Oh my god, I'm so sorry to hear this! Eerily enough, a couple of guys I know from the volleyball courts also died the same weekend on a car crash. It shocked me, even though I didn't know them very well (but a bunch of my friends did).

I can't even imagine what you're going through.

There are no words, really.

I sent this ecard once to a friend, and I like the message it says...

http://www.bluemountain.com/display.pd?prodnum=3032034&Searchstr=sympathy&st=t&path=35616

Velvet said...

A girlfriend of mine recently lost her husband...and as she said to me, there are just no words anyone can ever say to make it better. I am truly so very sorry and cannot imagine what you and your family are going through.

I'm guessing there was reporter/news station voiceover on that video, but you know, it's so much better without it.

Jayne said...

When my best friend died in a car wreck last year, I too watched the news video over and over. I don't know why either. I am very sorry for your loss. You'll come back to the blog when you are ready. Take care.

Jason (JiuJitsuMap.com) said...

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

TC the Terrible said...

I wish I could ease your pain. You're in my prayers. God be with you.

Fargo said...

My sympathy on your loss. Best wishes to you and your family.

Brett said...

I am so so sorry for your loss. I know it isn't comforting, but time lessens (not heals) all wounds. Anyone who tells you there was a reason is probably wrong.... we can never know why. Sending love your way.

Home Insurance Grants Pass said...

Condolences on your loss. My brother died at 19, and he was a loss to us too. :(

Georgette said...

My heart goes out to you. Just read this. Sucks.

My best to your family.

Kitchen Remodeling said...

Oh..I'm so sorry to hear this. Just continue blogging for many of us are waiting for your upcoming posts.

Bob jain said...

My condolences to you. Just pray and everything will be okay.

Bob Jain said...

My condolences.. Just always pray and everything will be okay.