Drunk: what the fcuk is wrong with your dog, man!
Me: You know what's wrong with him...he didn't know you were an asshole, that's what's wrong with him. What's your problem?
drunk: if he comes near me again, I'm gonna' kick him!
Me: yeah? you're gonna kick him? well, he's right there motherf****, why don't you kick him right now and see what I fcuking do to you!
This went on for about a full minute, and people started turning their house lights and someone threatend to call the cops. At that point I walked away with a "yeah, have another drink you fcuking wino!" I probably shouldn't have said that. Obviously he had already had plently and the last thing he needed that night was an enabler.
Afterwards, I realized how stupid that was. The guy was bigger than me, but size doesn't really matter. I've gotten my ass kicked by people half his size.* I was thinking about taclking the guy and doing a neck crank (which you should only do to people you reaaaally dislike) but what I should've been thinking about was the consequences. What if the guy had a knife? What if his friends from the bar (no one drinks alone) saw us fighting and decided to "provide technical assistance"? What if I got arrested...and disbarred? What if I got injured? What if he got injured and sued me and he ended up owning the fortress (a blessing or a curse?)?
The funny thing is that the only reason I didn't tackle the guy is that I was wearing my leather jacket that I bought in San Fransisco and some other overpriced clothing that I got in Miami. So sometimes I guess it pays to be a metrosexual.
Anyway, like I said, I haven't been myself lately. Yesterday I was walking the dog and I was so zoned out that I didn't recognize a friend of mine who was standing 10 feet away and waving at me. I'm going to Florida for a few days to recharge my batteries, and after that I'll be back to my old self again. But in the meantime, I'll probably take a break from blogging for a couple of weeks to catch up on some personal stuff in my life. See you soon :)
*this isn't true. The last time I fought someone smaller than me was in the fifth grade. I don't want to fight people smaller than me because you should never fight a midget unless it's on pay-per-view.